The Manic Street Preachers bassist, lyricist, sports fan and vacuum cleaner connoisseur sits on an imaginary celestial throne and decrees vengeance on boring druggies, fruit machines and dust. Is it really all Dysons and daffodils round this man's gaff?
Give us a revelation about Wire World.
"I've bet thousands of quid on my Sky Digital interactive betting. I bet on everything except horses, 'cos I don't know anything about horses. But from rugby to darts, cricket, ice hockey, I just bet on everything. Last year, I was about three grand up, but this year, I've had a horrendous time, a right beating from the bookies. I'm about two and a half grand down already."
A bit like Robbie Williams, then?
"Really? I didn't know he gambled. Haha, no, I think I'm on a smaller scale to him. I just like a flick through at the end of the night when everything's calm and peaceful. I like trying to beat the bookie. You can actually do Las Vegas on it now, where you go on a fruit machine. But I won't do that, cos I did have a slight problem with fruit machines at university, so I don't want to get addicted again. I just gambled and played golf at university. Richey was always trying to get me to study and go to the library. But we were chalk and cheese."
Is there anything you'd raze from the face of the earth?
"Dust. In people's houses. I don't understand why people have cleaners. It's such an easy thing to clean your fucking house. I'd get rid of dust mites and all those billions of molecules that are in your pillow and your bed and that kind of thing. I suppose I should say third world poverty or something like that, but there you go."
If you could make something happen, what would it be?
"I'd like to make voting compulsory. I'm sick of people in this country whinging about how to get people to vote, connecting it with politics and Popstars and Big Brother and whatever, and I think it's just rubbish. People should just be made to vote! Even if you turn up and vote 'no' to every party, it should be made compulsory. It would be a cool way of having a protest vote, if 50% turned up and spoiled their papers, that would be a valid point."
If you could banish anyone from the earth, who would it be?
"Half the fucking population of the world! Seriously, there's fascism everywhere, so I'd eradicate it from the world. We'd all be living in a better place then. I've still got some of my political beliefs ingrained in me!"
If you could create something that didn't already exist. what would it be?
"I'd like to create a gene or a chromosome that, when you're born, you automatically understand every language in the world. It would make such a better world, create more harmony and understanding. And you wouldn't have to learn the fucking languages."
Which song do you wish you could have written?
"At the moment it would have to be 'See a Friend in Tears'. I've got a version by Momus but, I think it's by Jacques Brel. The words are amazing. Generally I'd say 'Sweet Child of Mine' by Guns N' Roses, cos when we came to London in 1990 we were scorned for liking GN'R and it's funny how times have changed."
Which bands do you really love at the moment then?
"I just really love the new Blur record (Think Tank). I thought the single 'Out of Time' was amazing, the video was brilliant. I just really like the album, but I absolutely love the Goldfrapp album too (Black Cherry). That single 'Train' was just the sexiest record ever made, I think."
What would you do to ensure your own happiness?
"I'd cryogenically freeze myself. There's always a chance of coming back then. And maybe a statue of me."
And your Ten Commandments?
"I think I'd keep them the same actually. It's pretty much the moral code that we live by, give or take a few. I think I'd add one, maybe. Thou shalt not talk to me if you're on drugs and bore me shitless, pretending that you're very interesting. Whichever drug, I'm no expert, but there is nothing worse in this life than having to listening to utter drivel."