View Full Version : Self Harm
nephthys
05-07-2003, 00:15
why do people self harm?
I recently found out that my brother cuts himself, after crying through shock for a little bit i calmed down. The thing is, i can't confront him because he'll just throw shit that i've done back in my face....
I always thought he was the wellrounded one in my family, it appears not. So why do people self harm?
I'd really like to know honestly and what the hell can i do to help my brother without appearing like im interfering.
amaranth
05-07-2003, 00:28
I know it's tough, but the only way to help your brother is to just be there for him. It won't be easy.
I used to self-harm, am now 7 months "clean" of it, after cutting myself for 4 years. I don't know why really, sometimes it just seems logical to be hurting on the outside, like you can show how you're feeling on the inside. It alleviates the mental pain for a while, 'cause you're concentrating on the physical pain.
But bear in mind, the problems will come back. And they'll come back worse. Because you just end up with an addiction to the endorphins that are released when you self-harm.
If you need anyone to talk to about it, I like to think I have some understanding of the subject.
nephthys
05-07-2003, 00:31
thanks.... how old were you when you started cutting?
amaranth
05-07-2003, 00:39
I was 12.
Amanda Graceywire
05-07-2003, 00:39
I used to edit a self-help magazine for self-harmers a few years ago, and could probably find some good links/articles that would help. A good way to start stopping (bad grammar there!) is using alternative 'coping methods'; when you first see what some of them are you might think "bullshit, this is never gonna help me" but after trying some things you do find something that works for you. The most important thing is to be open to ideas of ways to stop, because in the end all that happens is you end up with the problems tenfold and a shitload of scars to boot.
nephthys, can you talk to your brother easily? If he is open-minded enough I really hope he will be able to use some coping methods, and also of course those of you who may currently SH or are trying to stop. I do speak from experience here, I self-harmed for six years (from the ages of 12 to 18, brought on mainly by bullying) and have managed to stop for two and a half years now, so there is some hope believe me. :)
Screaming Icon
05-07-2003, 00:42
I started self harming when I was 11 (I'm 16 now).
I can't feel any pain when I do it and seeing blood calms me down...
I've also punched myself, threw myself into walls etc...
I've not done it for around 6 months though.. I have wanted to but I want to stop because: 1, the scars are horrid (I have too many) and people stare at them and 2, it's just like an addiction, when you find something that helps you feel a bit better you do it all the time until you end up in hospital...
amaranth
05-07-2003, 00:45
Coping strategies do work, you just need to find what's right for you.
Take it one day at a time. If your brother (or anyone else reading this) has a bad day, and you don't SH, you can use that in the future to say "well I didn't need it then, I don't need it now". Maybe he will slip-up, and relapse, but all you can do is encourage him to try again. See if he can stop for a day, then 2 days, then maybe 4 or 5, then a week. It really does work. Please don't put pressure on him and expect him to stop straight away.
nephthys
05-07-2003, 00:48
Originally posted by Amanda Graceywire
nephthys, can you talk to your brother easily? If he is open-minded enough I really hope he will be able to use some coping methods, and also of course those of you who may currently SH or are trying to stop. I do speak from experience here, I self-harmed for six years (from the ages of 12 to 18, brought on mainly by bullying) and have managed to stop for two and a half years now, so there is some hope believe me. :)
Me and my brother are pretty close and i guess this is why it shocked me so much, because he felt like he couldn't talk to me about it...
The hardest thing is trying to pluck up the courage to talk to him about it, i was going to today but i chickened out... I guess i'm frightened that he'll just throw it back at me and say something like 'how can you lecture me when you're practically just as bad'. Its just hard to find a way into the conversation, i mean when i saw the cuts on his hand today i asked him about it but he said it was from a game... which is probably bollocks.
He's 13 which i thought was pretty young but after reading about it i've gathered that this is prime age to start....
aaaarrghhhhhh!!!
amaranth
05-07-2003, 00:55
It's tough. Bear in mind he probably wants someone to talk to about it all just as much as you want to bring it up. He might get hostile when you bring it up, but keep trying, I'm convinced he'll be pleased to know he has someone on his side. I know it would have helped me.
Amanda Graceywire
05-07-2003, 00:57
Actually, it may be starting as a game - I know that's how some of it started with me (worrying to say it, but true)... There was a thing going round at our school called "chicken scratching", where you'd scrape the surface of your skin with a compass point or something so it would leave a mark and you'd see how much pain you could take. (Yeah, nice game, I know; shows you what my school was like ;)) I never did it but then I got dumped by my boyfriend (who will still insist that he never went out with me to his dying day! :P) and went a bit insane... the rest is (thankfully) history. Anyway... that pleasant little tale is just something that may have happened with your brother - I really hoped that that 'game' would never surface again :(
amaranth
05-07-2003, 01:09
Oh god we had "chicken scratching" as well! I remember an assembly on it...hopefully that's all it is, and it's not something more serious.
I find cutting offensive. How dare people fuck up their bodies, they can keep all their pain and anguish inside like the rest of us have to. It's a horribly selfish activity....what do your freinds/family do when they see the marks? It's very egocentric and thats why i hate it.
I also think theres a large proportion of young people out there who cut as a pathetic sign of teenage rebellion. *Ooooh I'm so depressed, no-one understands me*.
However, for the very small percentage of people that cut due to some sort of serious mental problem I'm sympathetic.
Screaming Icon
05-07-2003, 01:31
:eek:
I'm sorry but I've never been so fucking offended in all my life.
amaranth
05-07-2003, 01:34
Originally posted by Void
I also think theres a large proportion of young people out there who cut as a pathetic sign of teenage rebellion. *Ooooh I'm so depressed, no-one understands me*.
However, for the very small percentage of people that cut due to some sort of serious mental problem I'm sympathetic.
If someone would go to those lengths to get attention, they do have a serious mental problem.
idiot drug hive
05-07-2003, 01:40
Originally posted by amaranth
If someone would go to those lengths to get attention, they do have a serious mental problem. \
And the sad thing is, is that some of the people that do it, are just wanting attention, for purely selfish/ego reasons....I knew some of those when I was a teenager. Most of the people I knew that had extreemely serious problems with cutting always hid their marks because they did not want anyone to see them or know that they were doing it, and they would not tell anyone. But I still think that anyone who cuts themselves, needs to get some kind of help, somwhere. I have seen it firsthand, and it's under no circumstances healthy.
amaranth
05-07-2003, 01:49
Originally posted by idiot drug hive
And the sad thing is, is that some of the people that do it, are just wanting attention, for purely selfish/ego reasons....I knew some of those when I was a teenager. Most of the people I knew that had extreemely serious problems with cutting always hid their marks because they did not want anyone to see them or know that they were doing it, and they would not tell anyone. But I still think that anyone who cuts themselves, needs to get some kind of help, somwhere. I have seen it firsthand, and it's under no circumstances healthy.
SH can be a sub-concious attempt to get attention, because you want someone to notice and say they care etc etc but at the same time you feel ashamed that you're doing it, you hide your scars, and feel like a freak. And that does far more damage. I agree, anyone who cuts themselves, or burns, or self-harms in any way, should get help because it can easily escalate into something very dangerous and even fatal. But it doesn't always work like that, and sometimes you have to beat it yourself, sometimes with help from friends or family, and sometimes professionals. Of course it's not healthy, but it doesn't make someone an attention-seeking freak either.
Screaming Icon
05-07-2003, 01:54
Ditto.
Originally posted by amaranth
If someone would go to those lengths to get attention, they do have a serious mental problem.
I disagree. I could, for the sake of this arguement, cut myself quite easily now, it wouldn't mean that I'm rolling in waves of depression.
It seems to me that a lot of people who cut themselves are trying to make false statements to themselves about their state of mind. Hey, being a tortured soul is fashionable anyway. All hail Kurt and Richey.
Another thing, someone cuts themselves and then talks happily to other people about their little activity. Now to me this isn't quite right. If I were to cut myself I wouldn't tell a soul and I'd probably end up cutting something that would never get seen like my thigh. Cutting your arm? You may as well cut your forhead.
amaranth
05-07-2003, 02:13
Originally posted by Void
Another thing, someone cuts themselves and then talks happily to other people about their little activity. Now to me this isn't quite right. If I were to cut myself I wouldn't tell a soul and I'd probably end up cutting something that would never get seen like my thigh. Cutting your arm? You may as well cut your forhead.
I partly agree with what you're saying. You have to distinguish between people though, not everyone cuts for attention. I admit there are some people who have done. I mean, there was a girl at school walking around in short sleeves, and scratching herself openly with a compass in class. And that's wrong. It belittles the people who have "good" reasons for doing it, if there are such reasons.
But what about the people who never tell a soul? What if you do cut your thigh, or your stomach? What about the people who constantly wear long sleeves? Surely you can't say they're looking for attention as well.
Of course you wouldn't be rolling in depression if you cut yourself now. And I was probably a little bit too hasty with what I said (that you quoted), so I apoligise. I don't think it's right to catergorise SH at all, because everyone's different. And what may be an attention-seeking act for one person could be a last resort for another.
Maybe there is some mentality of cutting because of the "tortured souls" that people idolise. And that's wrong too. I don't think any celebrity could wish for other people just to emulate their acts, and I like to think no one would ever encourage it.
I am truly sorry if I've offended you or anything. I shouldn't have catergorised people, and neither should you. It's good to debate it though. (I used to be a member of a self-harm support board, and that was all superficial bullshit and the whole idea of "it's your body you can do what you want" which in my mind is encouragement.)
Originally posted by amaranth
But what about the people who never tell a soul? What if you do cut your thigh, or your stomach? What about the people who constantly wear long sleeves? Surely you can't say they're looking for attention as well.
Yes, I sympathise with those people....but it's a real minority
Originally posted by amaranth
I am truly sorry if I've offended you or anything.
Me? Don't be silly :D I love a good rant. Sorry if I seem all high and rightous...its because..i am :)
I've tried not to catagorize people though, I fully conceed that there are some people who can be excused from cutting as they suffer serious mental problems.
amaranth
05-07-2003, 02:30
I just realised we've gone completly away from the topic of helping nephthys' brother, but like you, I like a good rant too.
Yeah, I was worried I was sounding all high and righteous as well.
You know, I think we're trying to argue the same point at the end of all this. Some people cut for attention, and they shouldn't, but it can turn serious quickly. Other people (I like to think me, but I was just a kid, still am, so probably wasn't, when I was doing it) have good reason and they do need help.
It's not such of a minority though, if they are really hiding it, you'd never know, would you?
knives out
05-07-2003, 02:57
the people i know who do it are definitely not open about it. my friend hates anyone seeing..hates the scars, hates the questions people will ask but she still does it. god, i wish i could do something to stop her but it seems impossible.
nephthys
05-07-2003, 10:10
Originally posted by knives out
the people i know who do it are definitely not open about it. my friend hates anyone seeing..hates the scars, hates the questions people will ask but she still does it. god, i wish i could do something to stop her but it seems impossible.
ditto...
Terminal Young Thing
05-07-2003, 11:38
I do sometimes, and my 'friend' has done so for longer and is much worse.
She just thought I was doing it for the attention.
Well I was, only in the sense that I wanted someone to notice and help.
I only cut when I was depressed and it did help.
I just didn't go out of my way to hide it.
So, attention seeker?
You tell me.
nephthys
05-07-2003, 11:45
hmmm well... i thought about the chicken scratch thingy cos we had that when i was younger aswell. But i checked his bedroom and found a blood covered knife and two razorblades under the mattress....
so its true, he's a cutter.
I left him a note saying i won't judge him, i love him and that if i can help him in anyway, or if he wants to talk then come and see me because i only want to help and that i understand....
xLittlexBabyxNothingx
05-07-2003, 12:36
nephthys - i think by leaving that note, you have really done a great thing. I used to self harm a lot - i found that it was the only way I could deal with all the emotional pain i was going through. I felt that no one was there for me to talk to and felt that no one understood me. Then, someone saw what I had done, and he told me that I could talk to him about anything. Since then, ive become very close friends with this guy, and have stopped self harming. Just knowing that someone is there makes it all a lot better. I hope everything sorts itself out with your brother.
amaranth
05-07-2003, 12:55
Originally posted by nephthys
I left him a note saying i won't judge him, i love him and that if i can help him in anyway, or if he wants to talk then come and see me because i only want to help and that i understand....
Well done, I think you're doing the right thing. But please bear in mind that, despite that note, he may still be worried about what you're going to think, and scared to talk to you about it.
TYT - I know what you mean, SH is a way of getting help in some way, that's maybe more self-concious. Only you know if you're an attention seeker or not, I suppose.
littlebabynothing79
05-07-2003, 13:07
Not all self harmers go out their way to show other people what they've done to themselves. Personally I try to hide it from the people I love. I find myself cutting other parts of my body, the less shown areas i.e my thighs. I only really talk about my problem and help out others on line. I think the main generalisation is that self harmers do it to erradicate the mental pain within themselves and to replace it with a physical pain..a distraction if you like...or a way to channel all your hate into yourself. I loathe myself and therefore doing this seems to help me.
But each person has a different reason. It could be cos they feel no one cares for them or cos they're struggling with who they are or an experience they've endured.
It's not alway cutting though. It can be an eating disorder, burning your skin, smashing your fists or your head repeatively against a wall or something..bite the insides of your mouth..anything that causes physical pain.
to nephthys: i think you should be more concerned with *why* he is self harming rather than the fact he is self harming. the reasons behind it are what is causing him to feel so depressed that he feels self harm is going to help.
i hope you work things out. just stay open minded and make sure he knows he can trust you.
this site is helpful. http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
sorry if any of what i said has already been mentioned.
alexliamw
07-07-2003, 10:33
Originally posted by Void
Yes, I sympathise with those people....but it's a real minority
.
But if they really hide it, you'd never know who they are, would you?
Originally posted by alexliamw
But if they really hide it, you'd never know who they are, would you?
Quite right.
alexliamw
07-07-2003, 11:20
So then you can't be sure that its a tiny minority?
pull yourself together, buck your ideas up, set yourself straight.. etc.. etc..
Personally I find it hilarious that some people who cut themselves think they're living in some kind of sacrilege universe. Everytime it comes to cutting, people and cutter seem to think they're some kind of Messiah of the sensitive, don't they?
Originally posted by alexliamw
So then you can't be sure that its a tiny minority?
Of course. The 'tiny minority' was merely an opinion.
Screaming Icon
08-07-2003, 19:28
Originally posted by Thomas
Personally I find it hilarious that some people who cut themselves think they're living in some kind of sacrilege universe. Everytime it comes to cutting, people and cutter seem to think they're some kind of Messiah of the sensitive, don't they?
Yeah, me, obviously. I totally think that. :rolleyes:
Sleepflower
09-07-2003, 09:39
I think everyone has their own reasons for SH. Looking back at it, it was the worse thing I've *ever* done. Oh sure it helped at the time, but then I realised how utterly selfish it was and how it was affecting my family and friends. I stopped 7 months ago (on Sunday! Woo) and even though have contemplated doing it on nemerous occasion I haven't because I know it would hurt too many people around. Besides now I'm as happy as could be and physically don't think I could do it.
As for what makes people do it in the first place it's just the extreme pressures of life and I really do think it's understandable, just wish this world was different.
All I can do to make a difference is pray, and I do that a lot :)
nephthys
09-07-2003, 11:19
my mother found out about my brothers cutting last night, there were a lot of tears from all parties but i really do think things are going to get better....
he deserves things to get better anyway.
Sleepflower
09-07-2003, 13:21
Originally posted by nephthys
my mother found out about my brothers cutting last night, there were a lot of tears from all parties but i really do think things are going to get better....
he deserves things to get better anyway.
Yeah I think things will do. When my mum found out she was really shocked but then things just got amazingly better, and my mum and dad were both really good about it. I really do hope things get better, youre all in my thoughts I know what a difficult time this can be but I promise you it will get better now
suicide_alley
10-07-2003, 12:16
when my mum and dad found out it was terrible my dad went crazy at me started shouting n shit then my mum thought it was a phase and treated me like some silly little teenager. Also peole saying it's hillarious for people to cut themselves and make fun of them don't understand it's an addiction and are protraying themselves as unfeeling dickheads to say such things! Self-harm is a terrible thing and to get over it is hard you need people to understand and be supportive not brush it off as some kind of Richey Cult thing. Sorry but thats how I feel.
Narcolept
10-07-2003, 14:36
I find cutting offensive. How dare people fuck up their bodies
how dare you think that you have the right to tell people what to do with their own bodies, or condemn people for something you don't understand
Originally posted by Narcolept
how dare you think that you have the right to tell people what to do with their own bodies, or condemn people for something you don't understand
WHat the hELl makes you think I don't understand it? How do you know that I havn't self-harmed and I'm saying this through my own experience??
Everything that I've said has been my opinion. I'm not forcing anything down peoples throats. Just because I don't conform to giving unconditional sympathy dosn't mean that I've no understanding of the matter.
*didz and jam*
11-07-2003, 17:44
Originally posted by Sleepflower
I think everyone has their own reasons for SH. Looking back at it, it was the worse thing I've *ever* done. Oh sure it helped at the time, but then I realised how utterly selfish it was and how it was affecting my family and friends. I stopped 7 months ago (on Sunday! Woo) and even though have contemplated doing it on nemerous occasion I haven't because I know it would hurt too many people around. Besides now I'm as happy as could be and physically don't think I could do it.
Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I stopped cutting myself about a year ago, because I realised how much I'd hurt my parents and sister by not talking to them and physically hurting myself instead. It's NEVER a solution.
Renee, I did NOT know that! :(
may I just ask all you cutters out there, what's the main motivation? Do you all hate yourself? Sorry for sounding plump, but I'd like to know why people do that :confused:
edit: just noticed what this thread's supposed to be all about :mrgreen:
Every self harmer at some point realises how pointless/stupid their cutting was, at which point they move on or attempt suicide. Usually the former.:rolleyes:
Originally posted by Void
WHat the hELl makes you think I don't understand it? How do you know that I havn't self-harmed and I'm saying this through my own experience??
Everything that I've said has been my opinion. I'm not forcing anything down peoples throats. Just because I don't conform to giving unconditional sympathy dosn't mean that I've no understanding of the matter.
I think that people who haven't cut themselves or thought about it, will never be able to truly understand why someone does it, all we can do is try and help.
Screaming Icon
12-07-2003, 16:17
Originally posted by Thomas
may I just ask all you cutters out there, what's the main motivation? Do you all hate yourself? Sorry for sounding plump, but I'd like to know why people do that :confused:
I don't hate myself that much.. When I did it, it was to see blood because seeing my blood calmed me down...
Sleepflower
12-07-2003, 17:22
Originally posted by *didz and jam*
Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I stopped cutting myself about a year ago, because I realised how much I'd hurt my parents and sister by not talking to them and physically hurting myself instead. It's NEVER a solution.
It's never a solution in some peoples minds no, and I think that's why some people have such strong views on the facts others sh. I mean I personally don't have a problem with people who self harm, just feel really sorry for them. I find it a shame for those people who do find it a solution the way I used to.
My body is beautiful, and I don't just beleive this because I love myself so much that my head becomes so big it won't fit through a door, I just firmly beleive we are all beautiful and I know I could never deliberatly scar my own body again. Just my view. as dvoid said, we're all entitiled to them. Telling my parents was the best thing I ever did, I never admitted it up until then
Laura Claudia
12-07-2003, 17:29
I stopped about 6 months ago and.... it hasn't made me any happier, I must say.... my mum found out by herself and I've never seen her more upset in my life. So I decided to stop... now I'm just biting my lips to bits instead. I don't know.... I think I was doing it just to do SOMETHING...
Originally posted by Little Baby Laura
I stopped about 6 months ago and.... it hasn't made me any happier, I must say.... my mum found out by herself and I've never seen her more upset in my life. So I decided to stop... ...
Hm thats how i felt. My year head at my old school pushed it out of me due to my attendance at school...i dont know why i told her. When i did she said it would be put on my record at school but no-one would find out &she gave me an address of some local 'community' place where you can discuss problems with others&nurses. I took it but naturally i didnt wanna go. Then she pulled me out of a History lesson one day &said that because i was 17 she was allowed to tell my Mum which really fucked me off because she also said that she had been discussing it with other teachers! I hated her already but that was just plain nasty. Gahh, anyway, because my school attendance wasnt getting any better, it was because i actually *was* ill, she left a message on the home phone &mum went into to see her &she told my mum about my self-harm&agrghh i just told my mum that i lied because i didnt wanna upset her so fucking much.The look on my mums face was horrible &so i thought lying was the best option. Then i decided to stop &it went ok for a while but then more crap happened &i spose it seems right to do it, for me anyway.
XX
Originally posted by Screaming Icon
I don't hate myself that much.. When I did it, it was to see blood because seeing my blood calmed me down...
nah, that'd freak me out. Don't do it, you'll just end up like a dog that's been beat too much, til you spent half your life just covering up :(
...instead:
http://www.sonymusic.com/clips/selection/30/BruceSpringsteen/TheRising.ram
:)
edit: oh god, I'm starting to notice it myself really.. :rolleyes:
Screaming Icon
15-07-2003, 11:26
I don't do it anymore. Thank you.
It does become like an addiction when you don't know how else to calm yourself down.
suicide_alley
18-07-2003, 00:19
It definitly is an addiction I can honestly say that if I didnt restrain myself I'd be doing it every day. Its been tough recently though just found out that my friend has died so its hard not to, but I'm trying.
Screaming Icon
18-07-2003, 10:31
suicide_alley if you need to talk to anyone, PM me... x
MrsCarbohydrate
18-07-2003, 14:48
Originally posted by Thomas
may I just ask all you cutters out there, what's the main motivation? Do you all hate yourself? Sorry for sounding plump, but I'd like to know why people do that :confused:
i don't usually get involved in these conversations, but for some reason, here i am. :)
I used to self harm, and still do on occasion. But for me it's not a problem, i mean, it's never become an addiction or something i couldn't stop. I know deep down that if i wanted to, i could stop it and never do it again. And i never did it out of any kind of self hatred or depression.. I never really felt that my body belonged to me. I look in the mirror and what i see doesn't match what I feel in my brain, and i used to find it very scary and frustrating. Causing myself pain, and causing myself to bleed and making scars was a way to remind me that my body does belong to me, to affirm ownership if you like.
There's no point in ranting about "how dare you scar your body" or saying it's attention seeking.. people find all kinds of ways to self destruct, whether it be alcohol, chain smoking or any number of damaging behaviours. Just because self harm is more obvious than, say, getting into damaging relationships or withdrawing from social life or anything else, it doesn't make it more dangerous or more worthy of criticism.
Originally posted by MrsCarbohydrate
[B]i don't usually get involved in these conversations, but for some reason, here i am. :)
I used to self harm, and still do on occasion. But for me it's not a problem, i mean, it's never become an addiction or something i couldn't stop. I know deep down that if i wanted to, i could stop it and never do it again. And i never did it out of any kind of self hatred or depression.. I never really felt that my body belonged to me. I look in the mirror and what i see doesn't match what I feel in my brain, and i used to find it very scary and frustrating. Causing myself pain, and causing myself to bleed and making scars was a way to remind me that my body does belong to me, to affirm ownership if you like.
so, in your case, it's all down to vanity?
I had work experience in a mental health ward last week shaddowing an Occupational Therapist. She started talking bout self harm, and I found that a lot of things she said were offensive. (as she assumed that a) I didnt know anything about self harm and b) that I had never done it) Like she said that self harm had become fashionable....
She also said that there had been a sharp rise in the amount of people self harming. She also mentioned that people do it in groups-funny she should say that as my younger brother who is 16 came home a couple of weeks ago with a cut on his arm after his mates dared him.
:rolleyes:
So did you lot take up this bizzare activity before or after you became manics fans ?
(i find cutting a bit pathetic tbh)
littlebabynothing79
18-07-2003, 17:25
Its been tough recently though just found out that my friend has died so its hard not to, but I'm trying.
I totally sympathise with you there. I posted something similar a couple of weeks back regarding the amount of friends I had lost in a coupla years, all I feel that I havent been a good friend to anyone. That in turn makes me hate myself and cut myself. I'm doing alright at the moment..helping others and distracting myself from all of it. Two weeks without cutting or bashing myself. If you ever want to PM me you can :o I'm a symapthetic listener and I am non judgemental and that goes for anyone else too...
Screaming Icon
18-07-2003, 18:37
Originally posted by Maddock
:rolleyes:
So did you lot take up this bizzare activity before or after you became manics fans ?
(i find cutting a bit pathetic tbh)
A year before I found out about Richey thank you. If anything he helped me feel less alone when I found out about him as I thought I was some kind of freak for doing it. I was 12 then.
Oh and Maddock....
go fuck yourself. :mad: :rolleyes:
:surprise: :surprise: :surprise:
Screaming Icon
18-07-2003, 19:30
lol
Why?(^^That was pathetic too)
Just because I said I found cutting pathetic? Well, it is. It solves nothing and is just a pointless addiction. You want to "escape" (or insert other reason here)? Here's a few suggestions of stuff I do when i'm feeling depressed (which are all better than cutting myself):
1- Take a walk. Fresh air and a change of scene helps clear your mind. It's sometimes to get a bus or whatever somewhere else as the further from home you are, the better.
2- Go to sleep. Or, get drunk and pass out. You feel totally different after a good sleep.
3- Play guitar. If you're any good at it, the guitar is great emotionally. There's no better feeling than writing a good song or piece of music.
4- Get a hobby. It helps is you can have something you can do at all times. The internet is good, but there's more to it that just forums, which can be depressing. Personally I try to avoid band forums when I'm depressed. Avoid cooking or anything else that could be stressful.
5- Listen to RADIOHEAD. Radiohead make some of the most uplifting music ever, a prime example being "Lucky" on OK Computer. Listening to the Manics is not a good idea.
6- EXERCISE. Do something good for your body, not bad for it. You can exercise at home, go jogging, or go to a gym.
Yeah, that's about enough I think.
Screaming Icon
18-07-2003, 19:52
Originally posted by Maddock
get drunk and pass out.
So, did you do that before you found out about Richey? ;) :rolleyes:
suicide_alley
18-07-2003, 19:56
so you're suggesting alcohol to aleviate depression? What about when you get addicted to that, won't that be another "pointless addiction"?
I passed out drunk at a party when I was 15, I was angry (imagine usual girl scenario) so I just kept drinking :o There are times when that is appropriate.
P.S. To clarify what I said earlier I don't find people who cut to be pathetic, I find cutting to be pathetic. Cutters are usually fine folk and 'pull themselves together' after a while.
Originally posted by suicide_alley
so you're suggesting alcohol to aleviate depression? What about when you get addicted to that, won't that be another "pointless addiction"?
More of an insomnia cure if required.
Originally posted by Maddock
Why?(^^That was pathetic too)
Just because I said I found cutting pathetic? Well, it is. It solves nothing and is just a pointless addiction. You want to "escape" (or insert other reason here)? Here's a few suggestions of stuff I do when i'm feeling depressed (which are all better than cutting myself):
1- Take a walk. Fresh air and a change of scene helps clear your mind. It's sometimes to get a bus or whatever somewhere else as the further from home you are, the better.
2- Go to sleep. Or, get drunk and pass out. You feel totally different after a good sleep.
3- Play guitar. If you're any good at it, the guitar is great emotionally. There's no better feeling than writing a good song or piece of music.
4- Get a hobby. It helps is you can have something you can do at all times. The internet is good, but there's more to it that just forums, which can be depressing. Personally I try to avoid band forums when I'm depressed. Avoid cooking or anything else that could be stressful.
5- Listen to RADIOHEAD. Radiohead make some of the most uplifting music ever, a prime example being "Lucky" on OK Computer. Listening to the Manics is not a good idea.
6- EXERCISE. Do something good for your body, not bad for it. You can exercise at home, go jogging, or go to a gym.
Yeah, that's about enough I think.
You'll never understand the feeling of wanting to hurt yourself. If you think those reasons above will make 'things' all go away & not want to hurt yourself then i dont think you should bother calling cutting pathetic...&its not just cutting, its burning, hitting your head- anything else that 'harms' your body..... Its not a crave that can be just 'cut' off...Plus how do you know that self harmers dont try certain things to prevent themselves from doing it?....I hate the simplicity of answers for 'help' towards this subject....
Simple answers are due to a simple solution. It's only an emotional barrier, not a physical one too.
Y'know...i knew that bit of my post would only get answered to.
Well the other bit.. "Its not a crave that can be just 'cut' off" - yes it is. It's just the negative attitude like that, that makes it difficult to stop. If you don't think you can stop easily then you won't. All it takes is a little positive thinking.
when i was at T in the park last weekend, i was astounded, i saw this girl who stood there in a sleveless top, with blatant cuts all over her arm, which pissed me off something, i didnt actually believe that cutting could be all about attention seeking for some people until then. I can actually understand why some people cut, but for some reason apparantly 'non cutters' will never really know because these self harmers are always misunderstood(according to a friend), obviously not the case with everyone, but there are so many people who wear it as a badge of sensitivity which pisses me off.
Originally posted by MrCarbonIron
when i was at T in the park last weekend, i was astounded, i saw this girl who stood there in a sleveless top, with blatant cuts all over her arm, which pissed me off something, i didnt actually believe that cutting could be all about attention seeking for some people until then. I can actually understand why some people cut, but for some reason apparantly 'non cutters' will never really know because these self harmers are always misunderstood(according to a friend), obviously not the case with everyone, but there are so many people who wear it as a badge of sensitivity which pisses me off.
Yesterday at the Brum singing i saw some girl who had a tee on &showing her arms which had many cuts on all &i could see this from the top queue of where i was standing &she was on the bottom queue, so they might have been recent. It was raining too &she was carrying her coat in her hand. So yeh, this annoys me too, so i just wanted to say i agree with you. But then y'know, this girl may have just not wanted to wear her coat or something, there may be reasons behind it apart from showing off or whatever. I dont know if this makes any sense? But yehh, i kinda get pissed at that too &hmm i feel wrong to get annoyed at it as that specific person may always do it there, may have always done it..&i'm finding this really hard to explain so i shall shush now :rolleyes: Hope someone can work out what i am trying to say:/
Originally posted by katt
Yesterday at the Brum singing i saw some girl who had a tee on &showing her arms which had many cuts on all &i could see this from the top queue of where i was standing &she was on the bottom queue, so they might have been recent. It was raining too &she was carrying her coat in her hand. So yeh, this annoys me too, so i just wanted to say i agree with you. But then y'know, this girl may have just not wanted to wear her coat or something, there may be reasons behind it apart from showing off or whatever. I dont know if this makes any sense? But yehh, i kinda get pissed at that too &hmm i feel wrong to get annoyed at it as that specific person may always do it there, may have always done it..&i'm finding this really hard to explain so i shall shush now :rolleyes: Hope someone can work out what i am trying to say:/
yeah i know what your saying, it was actually very warm at the time so maybe that was a bad example, but i have seen a handful of people do it before, most genuine cutters would obviously make more of an effort to cover up i would imagine.
Originally posted by MrCarbonIron
most genuine cutters would obviously make more of an effort to cover up
Thats what i think i was trying to say but at the same time i was also trying to say that if people do show them then it doesnt mean that they are showing them off; if they want to wear a tee-shirt, then can wear a tee-shirt etc. Umm yes, again, i cant seem to explain myself but just generally trying to say there may be other explanations to why people do show them rather than the just the showing off ones...eeep, i hope i make sense :confused:
Amanda Graceywire
18-07-2003, 23:15
I wear T-shirts and sleeveless tops, but that's because I'm fat and get hot easily ;) And having been 'clean' for 2 1/2 years things aren't bad anyway... I always wore long sleeves at one point; I wore the same cardigan for what felt like an eternity :eek: I don't think that all SI'ers who wear short sleeves are saying "look at me and my scars"; obviously there are a minority who would probably do that, but there is a difference between living with something and showing it off. I realise how sensitive a topic this is and that my opinions probably mean squat, though...
To be honest I can't understand people who have this self-righteous attitude telling people that they shouldn't be cutting themselves. Firstly, it is up the individual - end of argument. Secondly, I think that asking people whether they cut "because of Richey" is a bit of a judgemental thing to ask. All of the cutters I know aren't Manics fans, and that argument about "them just wanting to be Richey" wears a bit thin to be honest.
I am not a self harmer myself, but have certainly felt the urge recently and just after Christmas this year. I just thought to myself how it wouldn't solve anything and left it, although I think it's perfectly understandable as to why people would cut. I know I am generalising self harm as cutting here, but bear with me. People feel cutting is a release - of stress, anger, pain, whatever. There are times when life is so awful that everyone needs that release. Some people release by listening to loud music, some play racket-ball, and some cut. I don't think cutters in general are attention seekers, much the opposite, many of the cutters I know go out of their way to hide their scars, and feel awful about asking for help. Nasty remarks about them aren't helpful, and misunderstanding the situation can hurt as well, so please bear that in mind. If anyone needs to talk I'm happy to help, feel free to pm me. :)
Hope that made some sense.
MissHanna
18-07-2003, 23:41
awwwwww *hugs joe*
i know ppl who cut themselves, and at the end of the day its up to them what they do with their body and its annoying when ppl say they are attention seeking. however i have known ppl to make a big deal out of it, as if they need to prove how fucked up they are by showing off scars.
i just find it really sad when you see some 14 year old kid with cuts all over their arm. makes you think how fucked up things are if kids do that at the age of 14 and younger.
and as for any scars i have, they arent down to self harm. the majority are alcohol related, work related or me being just plain stupid :D
suicide_alley
18-07-2003, 23:55
how insensitive are you ppl!? we aren't showing off, we just wanna wear t-shirts someimes just like you "normal" ppl. I mean if we cut are you saying we HAVE to cover up?
MissHanna
19-07-2003, 00:04
eep! hope that wasnt aimed at me!
but it is pretty insensitive to tell ppl to cover up their arms. and referring to ppl who dont self harm as 'normal' isnt good, because, who the fuck is normal nowadays...
*waits for some smart alec to say 'im normal'*
Mr Inadequate
19-07-2003, 00:13
I fully agree with Joe. I don't know any cutters personally, I've never felt to urge to cut myself and I doubt I'll ever do. However something like 'I hurt myself to get pain out' makes sense to me... Of course it's better to stop as soon as possible and find another way to change your mind, but I guess sometimes it's just too hard for people who are very sensitive, have been through very hard problems, and don't have anyone to help them :(
Originally posted by Amanda Graceywire
I don't think that all SI'ers who wear short sleeves are saying "look at me and my scars"; obviously there are a minority who would probably do that, but there is a difference between living with something and showing it off. I realise how sensitive a topic this is and that my opinions probably mean squat, though...
Thats what i wanted to say. Gah, wish i could explain myself a bit better sometimes :rolleyes: :o But woop, ta Amanda for posting that in ways that people understand :)
My_Red_Dream_Is_Everything
19-07-2003, 02:17
This is only my second post, and it's a dangerous topic but I should probably comment:
Self harm is a tricky subject. There are a *lot* of "look at me" attention seekers out there. A lot of people comment saying, "but if they want attention, surely there must be a problem" which I personally think is bullshit. They do it to try and distinguish themselves from other people, to make themselves in some way exceptional because they don't feel their personality is strong enough.
I've come across a lot of people like this and it angers me. My own story is that I have self harmed for 9 years now (or therabouts) I started very young and *still* can't stopped, despite some pretty drastic measures being taken to do so. As well as psychologically affecting me, physically, it's went further to cripple my self esteem. I've been offered skin grafts a lot (mainly because of the scar on my face) but my theory is I did it, I live with it.
To who asked about reasons my own personal ones are just to ease pain- it doesn't hurt doing it, but I don't feel so, well, either numb or depending, angry, sad, suicidal when I do it. I sort of get transfixed by it, then I can breathe again.
To the girl who posted this thread- I can understand your feelings when you found out- my sister did, it devastated him. But he must have some shit going on in his head. :S
People who wear their sleeves up do seem to be displaying their wounds. When I was in school, a girl I knew did it, really mildly and went round showing people. The first time someone saw my arm they vomitted so since then I've kept covered up. But you do get hot and itchy and sore, sometimes its unavoidable rolling the sleeves up!
I don't think its abnormal to self harm- in many ways it's much less damaging than drinking a lot or smoking or drugs or whatever. It's a very personal choice of coping with pain, even if it does have some damaging after effects.
So there's my 2 cents on the subject. x
Seaneen x
I've only posted once in this thread because i know how sensitive a subject it is and i dont want anything i said to be taken the wrong way.
In my eyes, there is such a problem with sterotyping and generalisation on this subject. People have been saying "self harmers cut because they are depressed, they are pathetic".
For one, it isn't always depression that drives people to this, it could be anything from experimentation to addiction. And as Katt said its wrong how all self harmers are just seen to "cut", there are many other forms of self harm and the scars may not be able to be seen. It is different for everybody who SH's or thinks about SH, it is as personal to the person as their genes. How is someone who finally plucks up the courage to admit that they self harm meant to be helped if people automatically think they "cut because they are depressed" and are therefore, in their eyes, pathetic? If someone had an addiction to drink, they'd probably want help and not to be branded as pathetic, right? I dont see a difference here and dont see why people have the bloody right to call self harmers pathetic. If anything it is them who is being pathetic for being so closed-minded about it and having default views about it.
That probably will make no sense at all, but i hope you understand what i'm trying to say.
Originally posted by Furbag
blahblahblah
I don't see any "shiny happy people" self harming ;)
Sheesh, everyone's in the same world, it's hardly rocket science that SH is pathetic.
Maybe self harmers need to listen to those who don't self harm and never have, after all they're the sane ones.
Originally posted by My_Red_Dream_Is_Everything
To who asked about reasons my own personal ones are just to ease pain- it doesn't hurt doing it, but I don't feel so, well, either numb or depending, angry, sad, suicidal when I do it. I sort of get transfixed by it, then I can breathe again.
That's exactly why I think it's silly...
Pull ye'self together ;)
Screaming Icon
19-07-2003, 12:57
Originally posted by Maddock
I don't see any "shiny happy people" self harming ;)
OI!
I'm shiny and happy!
And you are begining to sound just like my braindead father.
I..... have a secret....I....am your father!
Dancing May Girl
19-07-2003, 14:52
i always said I had never done anything self harm but then I remember I have. No cutting or something like that. I used to put my hands into VERY hot water and stod there for ages when it got hotter and hotter. My hands looked almost burned when I had done it. I stopped it when my friend said that I had to stop. It is hard to get away from this habit and it took some time.
My advice is to tell a friend or someone you trust.
I had friends who had anorexia or bulimia and one who was a cutter. Seeing a friend die of anorexia was the worst thing I have ever seen and finding one of your friends after he had hanged himself because he just had had enough too. He committed suicide because he felt he was nothing and that he meant nothing to us. He suffered from depression and bulimia.
Selfharm may have some aspects of "look at me" but mostly not. My friend who died of anorexia was always a very happy and outgoing person. We first found out that she was really fucked up when she was at the hospital and she looked like a fuckig skeleton. Sometimes people are good at hiding things.
Laura Claudia
19-07-2003, 15:43
That's so horrible...sorry to hear that! :(
And to the thing about wearing tops and t-shirts.... I don't even care... I have scars... but no-one ask and if they do I just tell them it's my cat...
Dancing May Girl
19-07-2003, 15:49
Thanks.
That's a classic the one with the cat. My friend used to use that one. People just accept that excuse instead of thinking "What is this?Could something be wrong?"
Laura Claudia
19-07-2003, 15:51
It's a good and a bad excuse, really... 'cos sometimes you DO want people to ask...some people...other times you just want them to fuck off! It's crazy....
Dancing May Girl
19-07-2003, 15:58
My friend used to joke about what all the poor cats had to be blamed for because of all the cutters...She was a cutter so she was aware of her problem. She could joke about it.
Laura Claudia
19-07-2003, 16:01
I never could. I still can't. I admire people that can, in a way... I took it very seriously.
I don't know.... sometimes I wonder why, but mostly I don't 'cos it was just a part of me...
MrsCarbohydrate
19-07-2003, 16:06
Originally posted by Thomas
so, in your case, it's all down to vanity?
I wouldn't say vanity.. it's hard to explain the reasons really. It's just a way of dealing with problems. It doesn't make me a richey-ite or pathetic or attention seeking. I mean i don't go about shoving it in other peoples' faces, so it's not for other people's benefit. In fact, i wasn't even going to reply to this thread in case people thought i was looking for attention or sympathy, but hey.
I don't understand the reactions of people to Self Harm. tome, it's no more harmful or deserving of ridicule than alcoholism or any other form of self abuse.
Dancing May Girl
19-07-2003, 16:16
Originally posted by Little Baby Laura
I never could. I still can't. I admire people that can, in a way... I took it very seriously.
I don't know.... sometimes I wonder why, but mostly I don't 'cos it was just a part of me...
It took her a long time before she would admit she had a problem. But as far as I know she has stopped doing it. I hope so.
amaranth
19-07-2003, 16:27
I suppose someone will have a go at me for this but never mind...
I am now roughly 7 months "clean" and after years of wearing long sleeves I feel pretty shit about it. It'll take a hell of a long time for these scars to heal, and cutting is the biggest regret of my life. When I'm out in a city where no one knows me, I roll my sleeves up. I need to. It's something to do with accepting it. I just feel like if I continue to wear long sleeves all the time, then the temptation to cut will be there because "no one would even know", and I really don't wanna go back to hurting myself like that. I mean, I don't go round to my friends and family, or where there's anyone who knows me, with my sleeves rolled up, openly showing my scars...but if I'm out I will for a few minutes, if I'm sure no one will recognise me. If I go into a shop, or I think someone is looking at me, I will roll them back down immediately. But I really don't wanna feel ashamed of myself when I'm out in public, because they are the kinda feelings that would make me start cutting again.
Dancing May Girl
19-07-2003, 16:44
If that helps you I think you should do it. People hvae their own ways of dealing with scars.
And good luck!!!
edited out cause it was shit
i've been cutting myself for 10 years. and i find it really helps me as a coping mechanism..
I'm 19 and I only recently just asked for help. None of my family know that I do it so ive only had my friends for support. The main thing is that you're there for your brother and that you have to support him whatever he chooses.
I would suggest telling a doctor, it took me 10 years and was one of the scariest things ive ever done..It's helped me realise that there are other people out there who want to help, and that i'm not totally alone.
I have no idea why i do it. I used to hate myself for doing it and hid my scars. But I now tell most friends. I will never be able to tell my family. My mother would be too hurt.
MrsCarbohydrate
19-07-2003, 17:44
Originally posted by Thomas
just kidding, I don't know. Each to their own, but people who cut themselves are no more important than people who are being bitten by a snake. And Mrs. Carbohydrate, you're a total babe! don't worry :)
I never said I was more important! It's on the same level as any other form of self abuse, and jsut because it's more openly violent or more obvious to other people, it doesn't make it any more deserving of your scorn.
and anyway, now i'm starting to worry about your mental health...:)
<rant>
I've never deliberately cut, burned or bruised myself but I find it difficult to relate to peoples intolerance of this behaviour. Why do people think that their perception of "cutters" is so important , or that self harmers should be secretive or ashamed because of what you might think? I personally find the behaviour of people who take their pain and frustration out on themselves a damn sight easier to tolerate than those who release their feelings of pain, anger and frustration by physically and psychologically harming other people. It seems weird to me that THAT behaviour isn't more roundly condemned.
Self injury is a powerful release (and addictive) because of it's physical effects - not just because it's some method of attention seeking. The prime reason isn't to create an injury, the injury is just a means to an end. The direct result of self injury is the release of Endorphins (http://www.encyclopedia.com/html/e1/endorphi.asp) These are naturally occuring painkillers that stimulate the same receptor neurons in the brain that opiates do. They block the signal of pain to the nervous system in the same way a shot of morphine would. Just like the release of an opiate into the system their is a sense of calm, release, sleepiness and often euphoric effects. Given that chemical response in the body is it any wonder that self injury is one of the hardest behaviours to give up for many people?
It's a strange world... choose to mark your body in a socially acceptable way (tattoo, piercing etc ) and that's fine. Have an accident and some sad individuals will still feel the need to point and comment. Dare to be a self harmer who wears a t-shirt on a hot day and watch the self rightious give you the benefit of their verbal and none-verbal opinion. Obviously, some people think you should indulge in an addictive behaviour that they find acceptable - getting drunk, chain smoking or recreational drug taking (all of which are physically and psychologically addictive and harm the body, but - crucially for some - have their effects on the body in a less visible way.)
On the whole I would be forced to agree that it would be better not to injure yourself (because of the risks of infection, the way such behaviour can increase and the prejudice of other people) but it would be better if people didn't smoke, drink, overeat, starve themselves, have unprotected sex or a hundred other common self harming behaviours.
I just wonder how people feel able to set themselves up as judge and jury? What does it have to do with them? In what way do they imagine that giving their prejudiced opinion to a troubled person helps the situation? Or is it just about your "right to express your opinion" regardless of any consequence to someone else? In which case don't be surprised if you are given a hearty invitation to go forth and multiply...
For anyone interested , there is a good article about self injury HERE (http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/guide.html)
</rant>;)
manic_black_flower
19-07-2003, 22:15
i was going to say something but i think Finn's said it all!
i only feel sympathy when i see people with scars. at the signing i saw one poor guy with loads. it shows they've been through hell, so why condemn them?
Originally posted by MrsCarbohydrate
I never said I was more important! It's on the same level as any other form of self abuse, and jsut because it's more openly violent or more obvious to other people, it doesn't make it any more deserving of your scorn.
and anyway, now i'm starting to worry about your mental health...:)
I wasn't being scorny at all. It was an attempt to make myself look silly, hence unimportant - because obviously I don't know anything about self-harm. Please don't worry bout my mental state, I'm rather glad about it. Thank you.
well, edited now anyway.
edit 2: which is totally useless because you already quoted me :p
Sleepflower
20-07-2003, 09:32
Originally posted by katt
You'll never understand the feeling of wanting to hurt yourself. If you think those reasons above will make 'things' all go away & not want to hurt yourself then i dont think you should bother calling cutting pathetic...&its not just cutting, its burning, hitting your head- anything else that 'harms' your body..... Its not a crave that can be just 'cut' off...Plus how do you know that self harmers dont try certain things to prevent themselves from doing it?....I hate the simplicity of answers for 'help' towards this subject....
I couldn't agree more with that. Before I managed to stop I tried so many things to stop myself from doing it, i.e taking a walk - sure while I was out it'd be fine but once I got back I'd be doing it all over again. And sleeping, bugger me! - One thing I've learnt is when I want to cut I won't be able to get it out of my mind! The last thing I can do is sleep when it's on my mind.
As other people have rightly pointed out - as if it's a good idea to drink to get rid of the idea of self harm! Surely that would just make a bigger problem.
you idiot
amaranth
20-07-2003, 10:28
Originally posted by Finn
I personally find the behaviour of people who take their pain and frustration out on themselves a damn sight easier to tolerate than those who release their feelings of pain, anger and frustration by physically and psychologically harming other people. It seems weird to me that THAT behaviour isn't more roundly condemned.
Well said :)
Hi all Hope everyone is well.
I have recently gone back to self harming and for me i just feel the main motivation for me when i do it is when i start to think about the past and more recent events that have occured in my life.
I think that i feel like i am a faliure as people keep reminding me of the past sometimes i feel like i am trapped in this and when ppl keep reminding me of the past i feel i deserve to be punished or dont even really deserve to be breathing which i sometimes feel and especially at the momment feel it would be a better option if i was around at all but in truth i just wont do it as i couldunt do that to my mother and father so to me the next best thing is to starve and cut myself.
Lately its been a really struggle to find anything to be happy about i have the split with my ex on my mind all the time i still miss her, i have had some spread a vicious lie about me in the workplace which now could land me in serious trouble ive had constant personal problems i cannot stand the way i look as ppl constantly tell me about that and the fact that i get involved with ppl who are just out to hurt me who really couldunt give a rats ass who are to far up there own ass or people who are supposed to be my so called friend decide to turn on me and kick me to the curb when they run out of use for me that dont mean zoe or finn who have both been brilliant to me lately and its been great talkin to you both.
Its all the above is the reasons why i punish myself i feel that i am a faliure and dont deserve to be here i dont feel good for anythin anymore.
I am sorry if you i have gone a bit to far on somethings ppl but i just need to get my point across about why i do it im sorry if in anyway if i have upset anybody.
Take care all
Jason
amaranth
20-07-2003, 12:58
Jason -
I'm so sorry for what you're going through, and tell me not to interfere if you want but if you want to talk I'm here ok?
It's something of a vicious circle, I used to cut because I felt i deserved it, but then you can sometimes feel more pathetic because you feel bad for what's happened, and you feel bad for self-harming as well. I hope that makes sense, I'm not sure it does though, sorry.
I can't argue that self-harm is obviously far better than thinking about suicide, and I don't even know if you intend on stopping or trying to stop hurting yourself, but...the past isn't very pleasent for most people. I can safely say that you deserve a chance to move on with your life and find some happiness than still be suffering over the past. But then moving on with your life is a hell of a lot easier said than done, I know.
It sounds like you've had a rough deal with people, and unfortunately some people treat you like shit. But like you said, you've got Zoe and Finn, so hopefully you know that not everyone will treat you badly. Im so so sorry if I sound patronising, I'm really trying to help, although I don't really think I can.
Anyway, that was my attempt at saying something useful :)
And take care yourself yeah?
Sleepflower
20-07-2003, 13:10
I've suddeny realsied the reason I love this forum so much is becasue everyone seems to work together and be nice, it's really nice.
Thanks you lot :)
Hi again
Id have to agree think everyone on here is very helpful at the mo its just nice being able to get a point accross and you brilliant lot do everything to help.
((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) EVERYONE
Take care
Jason
MrsCarbohydrate
20-07-2003, 16:38
Originally posted by Thomas
I wasn't being scorny at all. It was an attempt to make myself look silly, hence unimportant - because obviously I don't know anything about self-harm. Please don't worry bout my mental state, I'm rather glad about it. Thank you.
well, edited now anyway.
edit 2: which is totally useless because you already quoted me :p
ok.. i took you too seriously. But i was trying to make a general point.. and the "your" wasn't intended directly at you.
Yep... studying French and Russian and can't even make myself understood in my own language. oh dear :)
it's ok, I was being stupid too :)
to be honest, reading this and the other thread now, I'm totally shocked by the amount of self-harmers round here. Yes, I know, it's also got to do with this being a Manics board (and yes for fucks sake, it HAS to do with it) but I was never 'that' aware of it.
I feel sorry for you all, I hope your lives will soon turn into better :(
Originally posted by Sleepflower
One thing I've learnt is when I want to cut I won't be able to get it out of my mind!
*agrees* &you can experience that with a lot of other things like eating habbits etc.
&like Thomas says (above) that hes shocked about the amount of people who self-harm...I was just discussing that few hours ago with Hollee.
Sleepflower
20-07-2003, 18:45
Yeah I was shocked at how many people here self harmed as well. There's a lot. It's sad really...
nicky wire
20-07-2003, 23:13
OK, its time for me to admit to this.
In 16 years of living, i've cut myself on three seperate occasions, at 8, 13 and 15 years old. Those were the only times i've ever felt the need to do something about that. I've often had violent fantasies involving other people (family, friends, girlfriend etc) which i've fortunately kept under control. It's not something I'm proud of, but all i can say is that each time i did cut myself it made me feel a lot better. So there you have it.
.::Hollee::.
21-07-2003, 10:46
Originally posted by katt
*agrees* &you can experience that with a lot of other things like eating habbits etc.
&like Thomas says (above) that hes shocked about the amount of people who self-harm...I was just discussing that few hours ago with Hollee.
not actually said anything in this thread yet...but seeing as how i've been mentioned now... ;)
SH isn't something that can be taken lightly and the lack of help, knowledge and understanding (both by people AND doctors/nurses) is shocking...however, if poeple are wanting awareness to be made more available, they are going to have to go about the publicity very carefully. anything that get shoved into the lime light has the danger of becoming 'trendy'...i'm sure many of you are aware of the increase in SH in teenagers (some serious some wishing to belong to that 'club'...for want of a better word!)and with the mentality of some people, if it is made more public the general concensus with them might be that it is now somthing positive (well...not positive, maybe more acceptable???)...as soon as nu-metal 'music was given more air time on both radio and tv it became the latest fashion trend - people weren't cool unless they owned the new slipknot album...etc.
i'm not quite sure how they could go about it...:confused:
does this make sence?!?!?!? i would go into more depth about it but i'm at work and don't really have the time!:rolleyes:
xh xxx
Yaara (lori)
21-07-2003, 16:03
there are lots of ways to get the pain out, but even if you feel like you can't find your way of doing that, you have to sit and ponder(I love this word): how bad is it really? can it get any worse? am I the only one that can feel this way? etc...
I used to bang my head in the wall... now I use the "suppress & cry" method (people who stayed at sheila's the night before MOVE must remember), which means that I gather all my pain into my...stomach or something and after a long period of doing that I burst into tears. But that just me.
what I'm trying to say is have some proportion about your feelings, any sort of feelings, before you do something rash.
p.s: someone probably said that before, but have you noticed the ammount of self harmers within the Manics community? maybe it's because of Richey or the characteristics of the fans, but it worth the reminder...
XXX
Yaara
I always think the link between people who cut themselves and people who listen to the manics is a funny one.
Personally I deal with things by keeping them in. Or talking to people. That can help too sometimes cutters.
MrsCarbohydrate
21-07-2003, 17:06
Originally posted by Yaara (lori)
p.s: someone probably said that before, but have you noticed the ammount of self harmers within the Manics community? maybe it's because of Richey or the characteristics of the fans, but it worth the reminder...
I think it's jsut the kind of fans they attract. They have Richey and Nicky who both suffere(d) from depression, fairly deep and sometimes angsty lyrics.. and I think that it just attracts people who are prone to depression or have other problems for various reasons; maybe they identify withthe lyrics, maybe they get some comfort from knowing that other people feel the same way. I never really felt that the manics cause self harm, they attract peolpe who already do it (with exceptions of course)
Originally posted by MrsCarbohydrate
I think it's jsut the kind of fans they attract. They have Richey and Nicky who both suffere(d) from depression, fairly deep and sometimes angsty lyrics.. and I think that it just attracts people who are prone to depression or have other problems for various reasons; maybe they identify withthe lyrics, maybe they get some comfort from knowing that other people feel the same way. I never really felt that the manics cause self harm, they attract peolpe who already do it (with exceptions of course)
I would agree, I have found comfort in some of the lyrics in the past
littlebabynothing79
21-07-2003, 22:20
I hope everything is ok now Jason. I dunno what to say really. I wish I could be around more to help you out and others. But I'm just a waste of space. I try my hardest and cave in like a complete idiot. I feel like shouting, kicking and screaming out..with all the anxiety inside me..this of which has nothing to do with you Jason. Its just me..being pathetic. I havent self harmed in a while and I feel as though all this pent up agression is building up and I want to do it so badly..to release the pain :( I appreciate your friendship..
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