death

[littlebabynothing79]

Hi! Glad the fd forum is back. Nothing is as good as this forum.
I havent been feeling too well lately and I've missed you guys. Last night I got the news of a 'friend' that died. Thing is its not that simple.
...
....
He died like 2 years ago and cos I dont see many of my college friends anymore..I only found out yesterday. It pains me badly. It was a tragic road accident.
I cant seem to explain myself to anyone about this just tried with my mum and she was less than sympathetic.
During college I lost 2 other friends. One through a narrowed artery/heart attack and the other guy through a long term illness.
I dont trust anyone to turn to them fully.
Yeah I have done the Samaritans thing..they were less than sympathetic or even helpful.

[Laura Claudia]

Jesus that's awful! I'm very sorry to heard that! :( I must be so strange knowing that someone's been dead without you having a clue about it! Awful...:(

[sbs]

I think part of the problem is that you didn't find out for so long, a similar thing happened to me and I felt guilty in a strange way that I hadn't known about it.

Grieving is a natural process and nothing to be ashamed of so have a good old cry if it makes you feel better. Or have your own private memorial day for your friend, that's what I did and it helped me.

[Thomas]

Luckily, I never lost a close person to mine. And to be honest, I don't think I could cope at all.

Only the thought of someone dying I really love makes me feel physically ill.

[littlebabynothing79]

i agree with you there thomas..been thinking about my own mortality and the friends that I have left around me.
the pain never fully disappears.
been foolishly using vodka to ease the pain but i feel worse for it

thanku

[Lover of Outrage]

Although the event happened two years ago, for you it will be as if it has just taken place. The news will have been a shock whenever you received it and upsetting.

Thomas can't put into words! You 'cope' 'cos you have no choice well you don't really cope just stagger from one day to the next. As for feeling physically ill, yes that's how it is all the time but you learn to live with feeling sick (but it's bloody draining).

[littlebabynothing79]

I know everyone 'copes' and 'lives' life. In the long run his family are going to endure the worst level of pain...anniversary's,birthdays and everything else.
Sometimes I wish God would remove me from this planet not the 'good' people that try their hardest to survive.

[Lover of Outrage]

You sound like a good person to me. I don't know if there's a heaven, never used to believe in that kind of thing before but they'll always stay beautiful. It would also mean my husband will end up as my toy boy hmm but taking the piss out of me for all eternity.

[Takk]

I'm really sorry to hear this. It must be awful. :(

[4REAL]

aww thats horrible; especially finding out so long after, no wonder u r feeling down. Try to alk to your other friends who knew about it, usually the more u know the betta u feel, also its likely that they r still feeling bad about it too. Take care amd lots of hugs, xxxxxxxxxx

[Void]

Thats a shame...I hope you feel better soon

[littlebabynothing79]

It just seems that life has no positive at the moment and its all negative. This is the third friend that I've lost and I just cant explain it..I guess you have to be there to fully understand or have personally experienced something similar

[al]

Losing friends is truly awful - this must be particularly difficult as it was a while back, and although other friends have moved on in their grief, it's still fresh for you.

It might not ease the pain much at the moment, but we're thinking of you and hope it helps being able to share how you're feeling with us. x

[littlebabynothing79]

Thank you Al...I just try to lose myself in the fd forums. Its still hurts a helluva lot. My trust in people has kinda gone out the window..but I'm better thank you xx