Rant

[littlebabynothing79]

I'm sorry guys at the moment its always about me me me. But I really need advice. I havent cried like this in ages. Today has been a bloody awful day. I've had no help or understanding from my parents about my friends death.
My mum threatened to kill herself earlier today. My dad wants to move back up to Yorkshire with my mum. I live in Hampshire and have for 18yrs now and stuff.
My mum is a first class manipulator. She is so horrible to me and my dad. She says I'm always in the way. She said the only reason you're having a go at me is cos you dont have a job. I've applied for loads and only got 2 interviews.
She shut the windows when I was having problems breathing. I'm asthmatic.
She adores my brother and its as if he walks on water. Anything she's there for him. He said he needed money to for his new flat and my dad said no at first and then she made him write a cheque out. He owes money already. They just dont see it from my perspective. My mum wouldnt give me £3 bus fare to go into work when I had a job before I went to uni. My brother has been v.insincere rude and stolen from us. Yet she still goes on this way. He got this young girl pregnant too. She says she treats him differently cos I'm 'bright' ????
I just hate the way she is on the drugs and NO this isnt self pity to whoever wrote that on the other thread. I am seriously thinking of running away. My bf wont help me. My friends have no idea and wont listen to me..they think its all in my head. The bad things they just happen time over again and again.
I am thinking of running away. I know that sounds childish, I dont have any money...I feel sick, depressed and I dont sleep at night. I just hate all of it and the tears/pain wont stop. Dont know what to do

[Lover of Outrage]

No help at all but this is all very normal, well it is in our family! Can I ask are you quite close to your dad?
Things do have a way of settling down, my mum used to spend her time telling us to leave then bawled her eyes out when we eventually did.

[littlebabynothing79]

I used to be...but now he cuts me off completely and it seems like a way of protecting himself from the truth. My parents put each other before anyone else. So protecting my dad from my mum...as I have found out is a pointless exercise.

Families eh?

[terminal_young_thing]

you just said it all....."families eh?"
speaking from experience here...running away will not help the situation. in the short run it may make you feel better, but in the long term all it will do it cause a lot more pain.
i dont want to sound rude or anything here, but have you ever tried to talk to your dad about this? he must see the favouratism towards your brother, surely?
or ever tried talking to your brother? do you get on with him or not?
again, speaking from experience, running away will only make things worse, i assure you. it just causes a LOT more upset for you AND your family.

[littlebabynothing79]

Terminal_Young_Thing:i dont want to sound rude or anything here, but have you ever tried to talk to your dad about this? he must see the favouratism towards your brother, surely?

My dad knows she has a 'soft spot' for him. But that I should take her attitude towards me as a person with a pinch of salt. I'm far too sensitive.
My dad blames my emotions for getting in the way. She denies everything I tell my dad..all the things she says in the end get twisted around and so that there's no element of truth to them anymore and it makes out that its all in my head.
With my brother everyones been really helpful towards him,cos of he had a baby out of wedlock with a teenage girl and my mum told him beforehand that 'if you get her pregnant I'll kill myself' thats my mum for you!
Nowadays however my dad tends to shut off completely. He protects himself from it all and oftenly will lash out verbally towards me like 'what do you want?' and it could be the simplist of things and I'm not always asking.
Me and my brother are complete opposites. I listened to him when he was in trouble and when there was another catastophe within his rship the other week it was me who went to the Drs with him. But my mums told him that I've cut myself ('stabbed myself') and it's all down to a completely different reason..that I'm jealous of him!Which couldnt be further from the truth.

[terminal_young_thing]

right.
you said in your first post that " My bf wont help me. My friends have no idea and wont listen to me..they think its all in my head."
why wont your bf help you?surely thats a the role of a boyfriend to get you through the bad AND the good times??what would happen to him if you left?
and your mates...surely you can talk to at least ONE of them about it? my best mate got me through (is getting me through) all my shit, maybe you need that special person? i know for fact i would be dead without him.
it sounds to me like you need someone like that...and back to what i sed before your boyfriend should be that person!
have you tried talking to him about it? surely he wouldnt be too happy if you left. right?
"Me and my brother are complete opposites" ------ doesnt mean your parents should treat you any differently.
i have 3 older brothers. me and the oldest (ten yrs older) are VERY much the same, and the 2 inbetweenies (4 years between them) are like twins. me n the odlest are total opposites from the 2 others. my parents treat us ALL the same. that may be like total shite, but we are equally unimportant to my dad, and all equally loved by my mum.
and that fact that your brother told your mum the wrong reason for you self harming is something you need to talk to your mum about. tell her the REAL reason...dont let her misinterprate you.
look. if this thread is helping you feel free to add me to your msn so we can have a proper chat. sometimes it helps to talk to someone out of the equation. feel free to/not to. its up to you,.
if youd rather carry on this thread..then fine ill do that too.
*peace love and EMPATHY*

[terminal_young_thing]

just realised...if you want me email private message me :)

[littlebabynothing79]

Its really complicated. People just see me as a bit of a joke. A lot of my family have long term illnesses (stuff i dont wanna say on here) and when you get additional emotional stuff on top of that its a bit too much to handle. My friends arent sympathetic anymore..cos the bad things happen a lot..its not in my head though.

[terminal_young_thing]

hmmmm.
just because you have a lot of problems doesnt mean your mates should stop listening does it?
one of my mates cries EVERYDAY..LITERALLY and everyday we all sit around her making a fuss, just because we care. the fact that she cires evryday means it DOES get tedious..but we all want to help her through it, which means we do all we can to help her. even if that means listening to her moan 24/7.
maybe your friends should do the same?

[littlebabynothing79]

Well I never really tell them my problems anymore. After the one major incident that happened after I came out of hospital they were sympathetic and then one of my friends had a go at me for having 'problems'
Also she is gossips a helluva lot.
Sure I listen to her..even when she has problems. I dont expect anything from anyone.
I keep it to myself then when something like this happens I tend to vent my frustrations here which isnt right I know.

[terminal_young_thing]

how can "friends" have a go at you for having problems?!
keeping it to yourself is all well and good until one day when you click. it happens to everyone who doesnt talk about things.
one day..one little thing happens and it ALL comes to a head.

theres nothing wong with posting on here if it helps!!!
NEVER say somethings wrong if it helps you.it cant be wrong if it make you feel better.

talking about your feelings doesnt make you a weak person and sometimes its easier to put it onto a forum ith ppl you dont know and who wont judge you.

[littlebabynothing79]

Thank you. Sometimes there's just a lot of tension within the group of friends I have at home. Maybe its cos they dont know what to expect of me or they cant deal with the problems. I know going to uni at a later age was definitely an issue.

I feel much better today though. Thank you. I had some counselling and other help from my uni yesterday.

[terminal_young_thing]

glad to hear it :D :D
and glad to be of service :D
anytime chuck :)
us manics fans....we gotta stick together

*US AGAINST THEM*

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe he

[relic]

anytime chuck :)

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe he [/B]


Are you from Bolton? :D

relic

[terminal_young_thing]

nah just an awesome word :D chuck, chuckles, chuckster etc etc!
WAHEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *cough* *cough*