View Full Version : Depression
littlebabynothing79
20-06-2003, 11:08
How do you overcome it without medical or professional treatment? i.e something in life that makes you want to live...not the same as happiness..well possibly :) :o
Amanda Graceywire
20-06-2003, 11:11
I wholeheartedly recommend a spell of voluntary work if you have the time. It's done wonders for me! :) Gets you out and about and you get used to doing things and talking to people etc, and I've always believed that when you have other things to focus on it makes you focus less on the bad feelings you get...
There isn't really much that can make me feel better when I'm depressed. I have a lot of those days where you just wake up and feel totally like shit, that I look like shit, that I am shit etc, and I don't even want to leave my room because I just don't want to be near anyone.
I find the only things that make me feel better are having an escape into another little world for a while. Drinking or taking drugs isn't really advisable when you're down, so I tend to read books, watch films, play computer games, or sleep, anything just so long as I'm not conscious and thinking about myself :)
I think the main roots of my depression are lack of contact with people too, when I was at university I spent long periods of time where I did'nt speak to anyone. I went through whole days where the only person I spoke to was the bloke behind the counter at Spar when I bought some fags :( Speaking to people can really help, and sometimes going out can help although usually the last thing I want to do when I feel depressed is to be faced with lots of strange people.
Anyway, I hope you're not feeling too depressed... its not a nice place to be :(
How do you know when you need to seek help about depression? how do you know you're not just feeling down about something? How do you know if it's not just you being pathetic and lazy and self-centred? How reputable are those online depression diagboses?
these are not antagonostic questions, btw, genuine ones, for a good reason.
xx
yeh, definitely valid questions. are you actually depressed? or just bored? or over-anxious? or upset?
try and pin-point.
i think for most people its probably boredom. well, to be honest, i dont know. i dont know if going out and doing 'something' is just staving off depression, or if it is treating it.. you know?
Trying to pinpoint. All I know is this thing has sort of gone from 'bothering me' to 'eating me'. But, yes, bored, yes, anxious. I think it comes down to a recent and radical re-assessment of the Self, who appears to be a very different person than I thought she was, and a lot less cool. And that's always disturbing, no?
Ah well. I'm ok at the mo. Maybe it was just a phase. It bugs me because I'd prided myself on being the only non-depressive in my family.
Anyway I thought real depression came on for no reason, whereas I have a definite Issue?
Blah. me, me me. I didn't mean to me-ify this thread, but I thought maybe my questions might be relevant to others too.
aah, I feel really great these days. Maybe all this thinking about life pays off in the end. The whole of the last 2 weeks I feel like nothing could even touch me, aggrevate me. It's a good feeling, yet somehow spooky.
I can't even explain it. I'm not better looking than 2 weeks ago, nor do I have a girl, a fast car.. or anything trivial like that. I was thinking about it and all I could think of was that I'm just bored of heartbreak and despair. I can't take it anymore. Whenever there's something now that might cause depression, I always ask myself 'So, what are you gonna do now, Tommyboy? Spend 3 weeks in your bed crying, listening to the Manics? Or rather just get the fuck over it NOW. Cause it's like that sonny, in the end you'll always aspire to be happy, feeling down is a bloody waste of time, and you've done that enough already'
I don't know, things that used to put me down are nothing like a fly on the window now. I watch them from the inside and go 'HAHA!', it's funny, cause I never used to be like that. When I was 18, and got into psycho depression, my doctor told me I haven't evolved for like 5 years. This means, right now, I'm actually 17, confusing, eh? I have no clue if it has anything to do with it, but I really wish, and really hope this state of happy mind will continue for a long long time.
I always knew I'm a very special person, and I am better than anyone else. I know I can take over the world if I want. Maybe I don't even want that, cause most of the world sucks big time, but for sure I'll take this gun and kill everything in the way.
/ I was watching a good western today :)
Lover of Outrage
21-06-2003, 01:05
You're funny.
http://oasisforum.info/images/smiles/knuddel.gif
Lover of Outrage
21-06-2003, 01:15
Thanks I could do with that! I'm now 42 oh god!
i have proper mood swings these days, one day i'll be fine, the next i'll be really down. it's weird how lots of nights i go to bed upset because i don't feel like the day has been worth anything, don't feel like i've done anything of worth in all the time i've had. doesn't help i'm totally paranoid and my sleeping is disturbed by any and every noise I hear at night, which, if I don't check out will be, in my mind, someone breaking into the house...but anyways..to get away from that, music is the best painkiller for me :) just stick my headphones on full blast and lose myself in the music:D ..if that doesn't work, play guitar, watch tv, read, play on the PS2...or eat, which i seem to be doing a lot these days..just try and find something creative to do, so that the time you have doesn't feel wasted...and take each day as it comes, works for me...it's comforting for me to mark days off calenders, usually leading upto any sort of thing to look forward to like a cool tv programme or new album or dvd coming out...something to look forward to :) tomorrow will never be as bad as today because when you get to it... it's today isn't it;)
...sorry, i'm tired:o
I haven't felt really bad for a fairly long time, i guess it's uni that's better. But there was a long time in the lower sixth where i just wouldn't want to do anything, and i'd actually just sit at school and almost just want to cry. And then you have to put up with people, when really you just don't want to face them.
Plus i'd actually make myself feel worse because i'd just think it was cliched or that other people were a lot worse off than me, and i was being pathetic. And since i don't have the greatest amount of confidence anyway, it just got worse. I think i actually got through it by being angry at people who did stuff to me that really wasn't on. Anyway, i'm not looking for sympathy, just being honest and sharing.
It seemed to be moodswings that would change quite rapidly, and a lot of the time i just couldn't see the point in anything, because you'd get to something good and then it would just go away. But like thomas said, you can just let it control you or you can try and get the better of it. There's no point in being down, much as there may seem at the time.
But getting through it by thinking about what i enjoy, and music seemed to help. And having friends around you, although sometimes it can be just good to be on your own. People telling me to snap out of it really pissed me off at the time, but i guess thats the best thing to do, although i realise it's very difficult, almost impossible for people with serious depression.
EDIT : i guess this is a little off topic as this thread was supposed to be about combatting depression, sorry but oh well i've written it now.:rolleyes:
I was quite depressed from around Christmas to April roughly, mainly because I felt I was an outsider [even though I wasn't]. At sixth form, my friends used to sit at one side of the room having a laugh and playing cards and stuff, and most of the time I just used to sit at the window looking at the horizon. I had a bad incident in February where I ended up crying my eyes out over something which meant a lot to me, and it took me a while to heal emotionally from that.
Sorry to draw on me there, but my advice [that worked for me anyway] was to just keep busy. Since then I got a job and started writing more regularly, watched less tv, began eating better and spent more time on here - all of which make me quite happy. :)
Hope that helps.
littlebabynothing79
21-06-2003, 10:40
JOE:mainly because I felt I was an outsider
I think thats a problem with quite a few people. People just wont accept others for being different and not conforming the ideology of others.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LoO
Love
Relic
Wah, Relic, you need to get rid of that avatar! I always think princess is posting. Not that I don't like princess, nohoho!
LOL, I've been told, and I'm working on it. I always think of princess as a moggy now though.
relic
Sleepflower
21-06-2003, 15:31
Originally posted by Amanda Graceywire
I wholeheartedly recommend a spell of voluntary work if you have the time. It's done wonders for me! :) Gets you out and about and you get used to doing things and talking to people etc, and I've always believed that when you have other things to focus on it makes you focus less on the bad feelings you get...
Couldn't agree. more. Also I don't want to sound like I'm bible bashing or religion bashing or whatever, but God has helped me, and I've found my faith really imprtant to me.
Originally posted by littlebabynothing79
I think thats a problem with quite a few people. People just wont accept others for being different and not conforming the ideology of others.
Yeah. I have a few really good friends but the vast majority I have very little in common. Luckily I have one or two that I do, and that's something to appreciate :) .
MissHanna
22-06-2003, 01:47
ive just learnt that the best way to cheer yourself up, is to find something you can look forward to, or think of something positive, no matter how small it is. also being bored and doing nothing but sit around and cry about it doesnt really help, as you tend to dwell on the shite things and think too much about it. keeping yourself busy helps, as it doesnt make you forget, but it just gives you something else to focus on. that could be working or volunteering, or spending time doing sport or whatever.
i have a frend who is depressed, and she is on anti-depressants at the moment. the only problem with her is that she does nothing to help herself out. she just allows herself to do fuck all and dwell on the shite things. but ive started giving her things to do, so she can focus on other things, and not complain to me about little mundane things all the time (that sounds evil, but you have no idea what this girl is like)
and when i felt a bit shitty (i would never say i was depressed, as thats something i wont admit to) i just worked so much. i probably made myself exhausted, but at least i had something else to think about.
the only problem i ahve is that i dont have anyone who i can talk to about it. i have quite a lot of really good friends who i can tell stuff and complain to, but i dont cry on their shoulders or anything, or tell them everything. thats just because i prefer to keep somethings to myself, not because i am anti-social. and at the end of the day, my theory is that if you cant sort it out for yourself, you cant get anything done.
so at the end of all that, whats im trying to say is, if you are depressed, the person who can give you the most help with it is yourself. ppl are there to talk to, but they cant tell what you are thinking
anyway i cant get depressed cos im eternally optimistic, and every cloud has a silver lining in my book ;) :D
end of hanna rambling :cool:
I certainly think a lot of the advice given on here would help, but I guess it varies. Things like looking forward to future events (maybe Manics related) or keeping busy or doing things you enjoy like listening to music or reading are all well and good, but if I'm feeling low, I can't do any of it. I just sit and stare at my ceiling. Maybe becuase I'm naturally indecisive, I just get a lot worse if I'm upset. I can't think about picking up a magazine or a book or trying to listen to any kind of music. And it feels like future events are just these little things that pass a few hours but are gone far, far, far too quickly and leave yoy stranded again.
One thing that is good though, is sleeping. As long as you can, because it makes you forget everything and general you can feel better when you wake up.
...and another sorry, I don't wanna seem as thoguh I'm going on and on, just opening up really :o
MissHanna
22-06-2003, 02:18
looking forward to manics related things is good. nothing like a bit of wire thigh to brighten up my shittiest of moods :D
and ppl wonder why the wall next to my bed is covered in manics pictures. tsk :cool:
Originally posted by MissHanna
looking forward to manics related things is good. nothing like a bit of wire thigh to brighten up my shittiest of moods :D
and ppl wonder why the wall next to my bed is covered in manics pictures. tsk :cool:
oh I know the feeling!! I recently had my room re-painted, so I've got two walls and a bit that arent covered by Manics stuff, but the rest of the space is used and crammed full of everything. Its a great feeling in the morning waking up to 1). JDB Reading '92 one of the topless pics 2).Three Richey pictures from the same photo shoot, where he looks gorgeous and 3). many Wire in skirts/dresses/knee highs or cheesy expressions.
Sleepflower
22-06-2003, 08:13
Ah yes, the collaged walls. I have two small walls which are completly collaged and then the other two larger walls have got loads of little collages on which I did on A4 paper and then laminated. Oh and my four bootiful posters. The back of my door is so cool as well :cool:
I just tend to stick random manicy pics on my ceiling. i have wire in a dress, a few q mag ones about EMG and THB, a black and white pic of "Richey Manic" in Marylin Monroe print and adverts and posters from the fd tour. :D
Originally posted by Sleepflower
Also I don't want to sound like I'm bible bashing or religion bashing or whatever, but God has helped me, and I've found my faith really imprtant to me.
course you're not bible bashing. It's funny actually, I was lying there last night (wondering what the hell's wrong with me; I dunno if I'm actually what you call depressed and I don't want to say so in case it's just an insult to those who *really* are) ... anyway, thinking to myself, 'if only there was someone who doesn't know me as the person I project, someone I couldn't disappoint by talking about it, someone who doesn't give a shit about the normal definition of success ...' and then I thought 'Dur! That would be God, then.' Cos I know for damn sure that I couldn't go into this with any real person.
Reminded me of the huge benefits of religion for your well-being. (sleepflower's saying 'well duh!':)
Originally posted by Joe
I just tend to stick random manicy pics on my ceiling. i have wire in a dress, a few q mag ones about EMG and THB, a black and white pic of "Richey Manic" in Marylin Monroe print and adverts and posters from the fd tour. :D
I'm going to cover my room in stuff soon, probably non-manics though - there's enough of that already, and i don't want it to look like i'm obsessed....;)
Sleepflower
22-06-2003, 14:35
Originally posted by Perdita
course you're not bible bashing. It's funny actually, I was lying there last night (wondering what the hell's wrong with me; I dunno if I'm actually what you call depressed and I don't want to say so in case it's just an insult to those who *really* are) ... anyway, thinking to myself, 'if only there was someone who doesn't know me as the person I project, someone I couldn't disappoint by talking about it, someone who doesn't give a shit about the normal definition of success ...' and then I thought 'Dur! That would be God, then.' Cos I know for damn sure that I couldn't go into this with any real person.
Reminded me of the huge benefits of religion for your well-being. (sleepflower's saying 'well duh!':)
God is always listening to what you say, and he is always there for you. At least that's what I believe. I spose it just comes back to the whole faith thing really. just depens whether you believe or not. I just can't beleive God would go by and watch us suffer like people think he does.
I think, if you believe in a religion, its a very powerful thing and that it truly helps knowing that there is someone that will listen to you and won't judge you. It seems like such a perfect thing to be a part of, such a kind of...purity. ( maybe, I'm not sure if thats the right word) I guess sometimes, I'm sorry that I can't have faith in religion, but thats it - I just can't.
littlebabynothing79
22-06-2003, 16:16
I think in todays 'society' religion can be taken up by quite a few people who believe their live's are in crisis. Its truly insincere. Going to church wont necessarily make you a better person and God isnt gonna start making your life more liveable. Thats just me..I'll come down from my soapbox.
I think sometimes as you said you have to make life worth living by making yourself targets or things to look forward to: i.e Move and Lipstick Traces :D Also there's always something new and manic ~ y to collect official or not :o
I think some people are better at giving advice than taking it. I am guilty as charged! :confused: But definitely opening up to people on here is a good start. But people who truly love you and care for you..will listen to you no matter what and wont judge you. Unfortunately not many of them exist in my life. But life is about meeting new people and discovering new things about yourself..on any level you can think of..:cool:
I wonder if, beneath the pomp of religion, God is all *about* making life more liveable. The random morality of religion is what puts me off, it seems that the morality is all the lay person sees there is to offer whereas the religious person, experiences the bliss of unconditional love. And that could get you through anything.
As for opening up on here... you guys are the only people i the world who have any inkling that I might be having doubts. And it's great to know you're here. Though I don't want to go into it cos I know people are surviving much bigger issues.
xx
It's this 'bliss of unconditional love' thing that actually puts me off religion, amongst lots of other things.
That sort of state of mind can be achieved in many ways, and can't be taken as proof of the existence of any kind of 'higher being'.
That doesn't mean I've not seen the good that religion can do ... a friend of mine 'found god' and came off Prozac a few years ago, but I think it was the close community she found in the evangelical church that helped her more than anything else. She's back to her old happy self now, and we have an unwritten agreement that she won't mention Jesus if I won't mention Nicky Wire :D
However, as a way of getting out of a bad patch, religion seems less of an anti-social option than drink or drugs but as a 'died-again' Christian, my attitude is 'once bitten, twice shy'.
relic
Originally posted by relic
It's this 'bliss of unconditional love' thing that actually puts me off religion, amongst lots of other things.
That sort of state of mind can be achieved in many ways, and can't be taken as proof of the existence of any kind of 'higher being'.
Yeah, I was going to say something similar but I thought it would sound too pissed and sentimental (I am both)...excuse boringness...
In that I don't care whether there IS some empirically-provable God, to me that doesn't matter. The mere notion satisfies me. Science and religious thought don't equate, that's the point (IMO). God is there for when reason *fails*, I always thought, and therefore trying to 'prove' God is a bit of an oxymoron.
The shit happens when people blindly say 'oh well I have my beliefs and God's backing so there' and continue the bigoted modes of thinking that marks much religion for me.
I am vaguely playing devil's advocate (now THERE'S an inappropriate phrase if I ever heard one!) cos I'm not in any way active in any kind of religion. I'd just like to see some of the modes of thinking that are characteristic of religion brought into the secular, without any of the 'thou shalts'. Maybe that's why I'm into art.
Sleepflower
22-06-2003, 20:29
Originally posted by littlebabynothing79
I think in todays 'society' religion can be taken up by quite a few people who believe their live's are in crisis. Its truly insincere. Going to church wont necessarily make you a better person and God isnt gonna start making your life more liveable. Thats just me..I'll come down from my soapbox.
I think sometimes as you said you have to make life worth living by making yourself targets or things to look forward to: i.e Move and Lipstick Traces :D Also there's always something new and manic ~ y to collect official or not :o
I think some people are better at giving advice than taking it. I am guilty as charged! :confused: But definitely opening up to people on here is a good start. But people who truly love you and care for you..will listen to you no matter what and wont judge you. Unfortunately not many of them exist in my life. But life is about meeting new people and discovering new things about yourself..on any level you can think of..:cool:
Totally agree with what you said about going to church. I respect everyone’s choice rockaby, I'm not the sort of person who would condemn you because of your beliefs either. But yeah, with that church thing it's so totally right. Just because you go you are no better, in fact often people are hypocritical about it because they go but don't take what they learn out of those church doors, which is really sad and it does my head in. Anyway less of that I'll save it for a thread where it asks me about religion! lol!
Back to depression, everyone finds different ways of dealing with it, one person may find their faith important others may find focusing on good things happening in the future. I personally think it's all about balance. I do fully rely on god to help me through, but that doesn't mean I don't like a good nose at the wires thighs, or glare into his eyes, and think 'ooooh he's so nice!' but anyway find the way you're comfortable with and stick with that way. Will be hard to overcome it, but I really believe that in can be done by all and that something will come out of it at the end, for me it was my faith. I was so messed up, but then I found God. There we go. Speech over ;)
Manicben
23-06-2003, 01:02
ice cream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i walk,walk and walk and walk,i take my CD player and i walk,usualy to a place where i can get ice cream!
Sleepflower
23-06-2003, 08:33
Originally posted by Manicben
ice cream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i walk,walk and walk and walk,i take my CD player and i walk,usualy to a place where i can get ice cream!
Mmmm Ice cream. I could just eat a whole tub of it now :p
littlebabynothing79
23-06-2003, 12:46
Ice cream definitely...Hagen Dans (sp?) even better...I love choc chip and strawberry cheesecake ;)
Manicben
23-06-2003, 17:28
nope nope nope nope.....................
either a Flake corneto
a normal 99 of the ice cream man
or Ben and Jerrys Cookies and cream Phish food is also good!
knives out
23-06-2003, 19:43
Originally posted by littlebabynothing79
Ice cream definitely...Hagen Dans (sp?) even better...I love choc chip and strawberry cheesecake ;)
mmmmm strawberry cheesecake haagen daaz
littlebabynothing79
23-06-2003, 21:28
'would you like a flake in that love?'
the flake is the best bit! *mmmness*
amaranth
23-06-2003, 22:15
Last year I suffered from depression a lot, but one week, not long after a suicide attempt, it just, well....went. My psychiatrist said he thought I'd reached rock bottom, and realised the only way was up.
It does that sometimes, just .... goes. And often, it doesn't come back.
relic
amaranth
23-06-2003, 22:39
Trick is to stay determined, if you think you can beat it, you probably will. You can't stay down forever.
(Oh look at me, aren't I little miss optimism? :o)
littlebabynothing79
24-06-2003, 13:12
I think with most people you have to look at yourself and make non emotional judgements about yourself and where your life is going. Everyone needs something positive and good to look forward to :rolleyes:
Sleepflower
25-06-2003, 10:32
Totally agree, there is always a positive way of looking at things. It's called the hamburger technique. Everytime you feel yourself looking at something unpositively you have to try and balance that out with two things. The unpositive thing is the meat and the two positive things are the bread. Give it a go. Worked for me :D
... and if that doesn't work, have a hamburger!:p :D
(In case anyone's interested)I had a really long talk with my mum about it all. It had to come out at some point, I had no idea when, and she was lovely. I'm feeling a bit brighter now. I'm hoping it's not just a 'good patch'.
littlebabynothing79
25-06-2003, 15:58
Its good to be open. I am happy for you that you feel happy and that you feel your rship with your mum is better for it. Honesty is the best policy or so they say
Sleepflower
25-06-2003, 17:55
Originally posted by Perdita
... and if that doesn't work, have a hamburger!:p :D
(In case anyone's interested)I had a really long talk with my mum about it all. It had to come out at some point, I had no idea when, and she was lovely. I'm feeling a bit brighter now. I'm hoping it's not just a 'good patch'.
mmmmm... hamburger! But not from any kind of fast food place! Am kinda fussy about how my food is cooked! lol!
I'm glad to hear things look brighter, I really hope they stay that way. And mums rock!
edited out due very poor joke :p
Sleepflower
26-06-2003, 08:20
Originally posted by Thomas
edited out due very poor joke :p
Which poor joke was that?! I never saw one :confused: :p
poor joke bout the positive side-effect of sandwiches :p
I read it... you FILTHY man you.
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