Job Interviews

[Alexkid]

I hate them. I can tell that they know how desparate I am for a job, and that after the interviews over, they're laughing at me.

I also hate people who dont get back to you, a phone call or a quick email only takes a few seconds.

And I hate interviewers who say "oh we all have a laugh here" and "You dont have to be mad to work here, but it helps!" ha fucking ha.

Sorry, Im just fucked off about my lack of job and having to wear uncomfortable smart clothes for an interview for a job I probably wont get :cry:

[ternant]

the worst kind of interviewer is the one that says: "tell me a joke"! how do you answer that?

[Alexkid]

Did someone actually ask you that? haha. Oh dear. I only know unrepeatable ones.

[Void]

I've been pretty lucky with job interviews. I've always been interviewed by fairly decent people with easy questions. Granted, they've only been for Sales Assistant positions :)

[Alexkid]

Originally posted by Void
I've been pretty lucky with job interviews. I've always been interviewed by fairly decent people with easy questions. Granted, they've only been for Sales Assistant positions :)

Well thats the sort of job im after really. But I'll do anything. Im flexible with hours, Im not stupid, I have expierience. why doesnt anybody want me?

[Ammo]

Originally posted by ternant
the worst kind of interviewer is the one that says: "tell me a joke"! how do you answer that?

ooh that's bad! I hate it when you're going for some stupid little dead-end admin job (most of the jobs I go for) and they still ask you those stupid questions:

"What attracted you to this position" ooh let me see, desperation? I need to eat?

"So what skills do you have that fit our requirements?" Uh I can type, answer the phone, have a basic understanding of filing.

"Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs?" Pissing around by a pool with a drink in my hand cos I've just won the lottery

I dread interviews, It's really difficult to make that 'I'm so keen' act look believable. Still I am in a job at the moment, so someone must have bought it! ;)

[Mr Inadequate]

I've heard of someone being asked in the middle of the interview 'What would you reply to me if I told you that your performance has been awful so far?'. It was not to tell him to fuck off, but to test his reaction to a stressful situation. But it's still pretty stupid, your reaction to that kind of question will not be representative of your reaction in real working conditions. :rolleyes:

[Pimpf]

You should think yourself lucky that you even get to the interview stage! I've sent off about fifty application forms in the last couple of months, some of which took hours to fill out, and still had no luck :(
Interviews are annoying though. It's just pointless. You're talking bullshit, they know you're talking bullshit. Why can't you just be honest with them and say you want to work in Asda not because you admire the stores high standard of quality and honourable purpose, but because you need some fucking money?

[Sleepflower]

Yeah I so know the feeling of interviewers laughing at you behind your back. Part from I'm not even getting interviews. Have had one. Have sent off about 30 or 40 letters and had no reply. Bloody companys

[pretty in pink]

Originally posted by Ammo
I dread interviews, It's really difficult to make that 'I'm so keen' act look believable.

Yes, I find it almost impossible. I´m always afraid that in the middle of the interview I´ll lose my self-control and the words "I don´t really want this job, actually I hate working" will pop out. And I´m sure any interviewer can read those words from my expression anyway, because I´ve never gotten anything except shitty jobs.

[Jerry]

One in three job applications used to result in an interview IME but getting through the interview was another story. I used to get up to three interviews a week when I was on JSA but I object to having to give up a rare outing with friends and family, a conference on something that interests me or a creative writing class to attend an interview at short notice for a job that I'm not interested in and that I don't think I'll get. From now on I attend interviews not just at their convenience but at mine as well. I'm not going to jump at every command.

In reply to "we all have a laugh here" red warning signs should be flashing. Read "we all have a laugh at your expense".

[Maddock]

Originally posted by Jerry
In reply to "we all have a laugh here" red warning signs should be flashing. Read "we all have a laugh at your expense".

Ah, not if you have what's known as "Social Skills" ;)

[Jerry]

And what exactly are those "social skills" required?

[Maddock]

Getting on with people in offices would be pretty essential i'd say.

[Amanda Graceywire]

Well, there always needs to be one mardy-arse in any office environment for everyone else to bitch about ;)

(Kidding ;))

[Lollipop Gestapo]

I went for an interview a couple of weeks ago for a job in Blockbusters where I got asked the most ridiculous questions such as

'what does the lay out of the store say to you as a person?'

WTF?

I've got a horrible liitle job in a bakery/cafe now and when I started I got handed a couple of booklet thingys which I had to read. They were so patronising.

A couple of examples:


'There is no doubt that your job will involve hard work, but this will be coupled with the satisfaction of knowing that your efforts are contributing to the success of the company'

- I really don't give a fuck about how much money goes into the pocket of some overpaid wanker thank you very much.:twisted:

It also has definitions of such highly complex terminology such as;

HEALTH- a state of well being, without illness or disease

SAFETY- Absence of hazards

WORKPLACE- Building or area where people work

For fucks sake, I AM NOT A DIMWIT

God, I hate my job.

[erica]

i had a phone interview this morning, and as i said, "i have an exceptional phone presence" my frickin voice cracked. classy.

[manic_black_flower]

the worst job interview i ever had was at the local council. what would have saved everyone a lot of time would be asking:
so does any of your family work here?
no-bye! (whatever your expreince)
yes-congrats!(ditto above)

There was 3 of them to find out if i could type and file and speak english, essentially. there was a stuffy old bloke who didn't even bother to write down anything i said. i think they could tell i was slightly pissed off.
:D

The best one was actually Marks and Spencers. The questions were relavant and sensible (a rare thing) and the test was to chat to a customer in store to see how you got on. i'm probably biased on this cos i got a xmas job with them, but still...

the questions that get on my nerves are ones like "whats good about working in a team? followed, you guessed it, by "whats bad about working in a team". The only reply is to answer with bullshit supplied by my dad who works in human resources, who has to use it all the time.

[relic]

A friend of mine was once asked ...

"And what makes Andy tick?"

He was so tempted to answer ...

"The bomb up my arse, you capitalist bastards!" But he didn't. He didn't get the job either.

relic

[littlebabynothing79]

To work in a Disney shop...the interview..well...you had to answer qus like:

'What colour best suits you're personality?'

and

'What shape best suits you're personality'

I am glad I never applied for a job there. You also have to do those group interviews and selection processes. Where the more introverted people get left out and dont make the next interview. Kinda sux..

[manic_black_flower]

yeah, i went to a disney shop interview..

one of the girls there said her hobbies were bungee jumping, cos she "was a crazy/zany person"

the panel looked dead impressed, we all looked sick.:rolleyes:

i think a total lack of cynicism was required.

[extradinosaurs]

I phoned up for a temporary job for delivering phone directories, the lady phoned back and she didnt ask me anything other than where do I live and can I please, please, please do it? Why do I have a feeling no other jobs are going to be that easy to get........I mean I could be anyone, I might even want to steal the phone directories and use then as insulation for my house :D

[Jason]

Hi all

Job interviews i hate em

When i went for my job interview for the job im employed in now it was an absolute nightmare i turned so red in the face due to being so nervous that my glasses steamed up so i started to shake my head left and right to try to stop it it was really embarrassing i was visibly shaking as well.

Its funny as i always try and be Mr cool at the beginning but end up a nervous wreck before the interview even starts and whatever i say does not seem to make any sense.

Take care ppl

Jason

[Kiwifruit]

Hmmm, this reminds me the I need to find a job, :p :D .

[MorningStar]

An interviewer once asked me when i lost my virginity once.
Scary stuff

[Stewart]

Wonder if Cheggers ever had a job interview?

[MorningStar]

Nah, The Chegster never needed to do interviews, he went on his profoundly amazing reputation.

[sbs]

Originally posted by ternant
the worst kind of interviewer is the one that says: "tell me a joke"! how do you answer that?

Your interviewing technique? I know I would, yes I really would!