Why?

[Sleepflower]

Does death of a loved one make you feel low for so long after? I was just wondering. Has been four months since my gran died, and I miss her like mad. :(

[Dancing May Girl]

Sorry to hear you lost your Granny. It always hurts losing somebody close to you. I've lost many family members the last 6 years and I miss all of them still :(

[amaranth]

I lost my Gran 9 months ago now, she'd just turned 90 bless her. I miss her like mad too, but I know she would want me to be happy, so I try just to remember good moments with her, instead of the pain of losing her. It isn't easy though, and I'm very sorry you have to go through this.

[katt]

Aw *hugs* Its a very hard thing to cope with yet also a very natural process when you cant seem to forget or let go,so just keep doing what your doing&i promise things will get easier. I'm sure a lot of people on here, including myself, are here if you ever wanna chat XXXX

[Void]

My dog died in February and I'm still upset about that. I dread to think how i'll feel when a family member dies.

[Lover of Outrage]

Originally posted by Sleepflower
Does death of a loved one make you feel low for so long after? I was just wondering. Has been four months since my gran died, and I miss her like mad. :(

Four months isn't very long when she's been there all your life. Loss isn't an illness that you get over or recover from, you just learn to live with it (or learn to live without them). People that haven't lost a close relative/friend may expect you to 'recover' quite quickly which also gives you an expectation that you will feel better, but it doesn't work like that.
I lost my soulmate/best friend/husband/carer three and a half years ago, it still pains me every day, but I cope with it on a day to day basis. There are times when it feels especially keen (birthdays special events whatever), this is normal. Sad fact of life. You know they wouldn't want you to feel sad all the time though and would want you to get on with your life and think happy thoughts about them.

[Sleepflower]

Thank you so much all of you. Those messages have sort of given me a glimmer of hope. Katt thanks for offering to chat! Urm I think it's becomming up to her birthday. It was exactly four months since she died the day we went to MOVE and although it wasn't on my mind a lot I still thought about it, and I think evr since then I've just been really dreading 27th July (what would have been her birthday)

Void, I know how it feels. Even loosing animals is a very hard process. I mean at the end of the day you become so close to them that they do become such a part of your life. To see them and to know that they are so reliant (spelling?) on you and to see how innocent they are is kind of lovely, becasue you know you can care for them so much. But when they go it really is difficult so I do understand.

Greeboina - I'm sorry to hear you've lost so many people, it must be difficult.

I suppose the thing we all have to keep in mind is the fact they are still watching over us and would want us to be happy.

It didn't ease the pain. I still feel pretty crappy, but I suppose all I have do to in times like these are talk it through and remember the good times.

[Jason]

Hi

I would just like to say that i am very very sorry to hear bout your loss

If there is ever a time you feel like a chat your more then welcome to pm me if ever you feel a need to talk.

take care we are all here for you

Jason

[Sleepflower]

Thanks to all of you for your support! The private messages have been great and it's so nice to know you are all here for me.

Am feeling a bit better today. She's still on my mind lots but I think that's kinda inevitable.

Hope you're all ok
Love you lots
Sarah
x x x

[michelle]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Three months ago we lost our unborn son, most people on here know about it, and I still cry every night for him.

We have lost babies before so I can tell you the pain doesn't go away but you do learn to live with it.

You have to think of all the good memories you have and it will start to hurt less, I know i sound trite but it is true.

If you need to talk i'm little_baby_nothing_65@hotmail.com

[Sleepflower]

I'm sorry to hear about that. Please let me know if you ever want to chat. sunglass_aesthetic2003@yahoo.co.uk and who knows I may take you up on the offer of chatting soon, have felt pretty crappy today

[michelle]

Please do I'm a good listener.

[4REAL]

my granddad died 12 yrs ago and I still miss him....

This sounds really lame but my cat died 2 yrs ago and I miss him *so* much......ok yes u can laugh at me. lol

[relic]

It's hard for people who haven't loved and lost a pet animal to appreciate how it feels. It's normal to feel exactly the same about losing a pet as you feel about losing a family member, and to miss them just as much.

And the sense of bereavement after any death isn't necessarily a bad thing. OK, it hurts, and you want to turn back time and make it so that it didn't happen, but would you really want it not to hurt after you've lost someone you love?

relic

[Miss Oceania]

Losing a pet is definitely almost as bad as losing a friend or family member. My first cat died when I was 11 and I still miss him heaps, he was the coolest cat and I basically grew up with him and he was my best mate! :) Of course, I have a new cat now and I love him to bits (even though he has been adopted by my parents coz I couldn't bring him to the UK with me! :( ) but my first cat was special.

I have lost three out of four of my grandparents, and I miss them all too, especially my maternal grandmother. She was a cool lady and she died quite young. I especially miss her at birthdays, christmas and weddings. She wasn't there to see my little sister get married and I know she would have loved it. Even though she died a long time ago it still hurts lots when I think about her. And I still cry myself to sleep as well!

[Sleepflower]

I think who ever you loose whether it be an animal or a person it hurts a lot because these people/animals are all so close to us.

I was trying to read my bible last night and a little card dropped it, it had a pic of my gran on and a saying that she always kept on her cupboard. It made me cry so much to read it, and yet it kinda did me a lot of good.

Am feeling a lot better today than I have been but am still dreading what would have been her birthday this sunday

[4REAL]

Originally posted by Sleepflower
I think who ever you loose whether it be an animal or a person it hurts a lot because these people/animals are all so close to us.

I was trying to read my bible last night and a little card dropped it, it had a pic of my gran on and a saying that she always kept on her cupboard. It made me cry so much to read it, and yet it kinda did me a lot of good.

Am feeling a lot better today than I have been but am still dreading what would have been her birthday this sunday

Mayb u should think about the fact that you have had (and still have in your heart) a loving gran. Dont focus on the fact she has gone, focus on the memory. Im talking crap...but I know what I mean, thats how I delt ith it when my granddad and nanny died. This is cos I have grandparnts on my dads side who dont care about me and know nothing about me, but I am still happy to have had my other grandparents even tho I lost them by the time I as 9 (10 yrs ago)

Take care xxxxx

[Sleepflower]

Yeah I know what you mean. I never knew her husband. Don't call him grandad as I don't know him and don't want to either. I am so totally thankful for having her as a grandmother. Just miss her a lot at the moment that's all

[4REAL]

Originally posted by Sleepflower
Yeah I know what you mean. I never knew her husband. Don't call him grandad as I don't know him and don't want to either. I am so totally thankful for having her as a grandmother. Just miss her a lot at the moment that's all

I know u do, hope the pain heals, take care and lots of hugs,

Hannah x

[Krystal]

i'm sorry to hear that.
from experience, death is something you can never get over, but time does heal.

[4REAL]

Originally posted by starlite
i'm sorry to hear that.
from experience, death is something you can never get over, but time does heal.

Yes I agree, its something to come to terms with.

[littlebabynothing79]

Death is something that I really find hard to talk about. In the past 3 years or so I have lost 3 friends..2 serious life threatening diseases and the final guy was in a car crash.
Pets dying is also bad...I know...
All you can do is cherish the memories and keep their souls alive..cos they wont be forgotten..

[melancholic flower]

sarah, you know you can always talk to me even though i am probably not the greatest help at times. but if you want to scream or shout at anyone about it you know my number.
luv
sian

[Kiwifruit]

Sorr to hear about your gran Sarah :( .
It takes a while for this sort of thing to heal, I still miss my uncle and aunty even though they've been dead for a few years :( .
Time heals all wounds, so take your time and grieve all you want.

[Sleepflower]

Originally posted by melancholic flower
sarah, you know you can always talk to me even though i am probably not the greatest help at times. but if you want to scream or shout at anyone about it you know my number.
luv
sian

Thanks you *hugs* that means a lot. You know I'm always here for you too. Am ok again now, actually I'm doing pretty fab :) was just dreading sunday that's all, twas a very emotional day.

Love you!
Sarah